Journeying to Lose 200 Pounds... The Triumph of Perseverance

Peek-A-Boo

2010-10-20T13:33:00.002-04:00

Wow... I honestly cannot believe that it's been a month since I last blogged. Where has the time gone? What have I been up to? Have I lost any weight?

I don't know if I've lost any weight or not. I haven't weighed myself in months, but I do feel like my clothes are fitting a bit looser. So... I guess I've lost a little weight.

Not much has changed on the home front. I'm trying to stay positive, but I find that very difficult at times.

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile. I know that some of you do worry about me. I will try to pop in more often.

I hope you are all doing well.

xo,
C.C.

An Apple a Day

2010-09-17T09:00:00.000-04:00

Come fall, one of my favorite things has always been the annual trek to the local apple orchards to ogle, and eventually buy, a bunch of beautiful, tasty, and nutritious apples. In years past, most of the apples I bought were made into pies. And, oh my... they sure were yummy! hehe

But these days... I'm trying to avoid pie of any sort. And, I was just wondering... do any of you have any healthy apple recipes that you'd like to share? I do love eating fresh apples as a snack... but sometimes I am in the mood for something just a little bit more exotic than that. Know what I mean?

So... if any of you have any tasty and nutritious apple recipes... I'd sure appreciate hearing from you! Thanks in advance! :)

Walking Tall

2010-09-15T14:34:00.002-04:00

So... I have some absolutely wonderful news to share today!

Remember how I started going for walks recently? Well... I would walk the same route all the time, and when I first started walking.... it would take me about 45 minutes from beginning to end.

I've also been working out on an elliptical, and my walks were not as regular as they had been in the beginning. And this past Monday evening, I decided to go for a walk... the first walk I'd had in about 2 or 3 weeks.

Well... I took my regular route, expecting to finish in about 45 minutes. But... much to my surprise and delight... it only took me 31 minutes to finish! I had cut off 14 minutes... and I hadn't even tried!

I was SO happy when I realized how much improvement I had made in such a short period of time! I honestly could not believe it. I am amazed that my body has responded so quickly to the little changes I have begun to make. And I know if my body's performance will improve so quickly and drastically... yours will, too! So never, ever give up!

A Different Route

2010-09-08T15:13:00.002-04:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about taking a different route on my weight loss journey. I've been thinking about going on a liquid diet.

I hope that didn't shock any of you! It's just that I need to lose A LOT of weight. Carrying around an extra 200 pounds of body weight is NOT easy! It is not healthy. To put it in simplest terms... it is just not good!

So... I was just wondering... have any of you ever been on a liquid diet? If so, what were the results? What are the pros and cons?

Any information or advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance!

Zucchinis Galore

2010-08-28T17:28:00.004-04:00

So... since healthy recipes have been on my mind a lot lately, I'm coming to you with another appeal.

What in the world can one make out of zucchinis???

I'm talking huge, hulking zucchinis (squash) that have been picked fresh from the garden. I have a ton of large zucchinis that friends have given me, and I really do not know what to do with them apart from slicing them, dipping them in flour, and frying them in oil. And, naturally... I do not want to do that!

So... help! I am in desperate need of healthy zucchini recipes!

Thanks! :)

Yummy Pumpkin Recipes

2010-08-27T15:31:00.004-04:00

Summer's almost over, and it's heading towards my favorite time of year... autumn! And around this time of year, I inevitably begin to think of ways to incorporate pumpkin into my healthy eating plan. I love pumpkin! And during the autumn... I just can't get enough of it!

So, I was wondering... what's your favorite healthy pumpkin recipe?

One of my favorite recipes is simply to make a crustless pumpkin pie, following the directions on the back of a can of pumpkin, and just try to make it healthier. For instance, I use fat-free evaporated milk instead of regular canned milk. And I cut way down on the sugar. It's a guilt-free dessert that not only tastes good... but is good for you, too!

And have any of you ever tried that quick and easy pumpkin recipe where you mix a can of pumpkin with a devil's food cake mix to make chocolate-pumpkin muffins? That recipe has been around for years, but I only discovered it this week. I haven't made it yet, but I think I will. And.... just in case any of you would like to try it... here's a link: Chocolate Muffins A La Weight Watchers

Do any of you have any healthy pumpkin recipes you'd like to share? If you do... I'd be thrilled if you'd share them in the comments! Thanks in advance!

xo,
C.C.

Wildlife Adventures

2010-08-19T13:53:00.002-04:00

So... how are you all doing???

I've been doing well, believe it or not. hehe I'm continuing to cut back on my portions, and I'm focusing on eating only healthy foods. I'm drinking lots of water, and I've been walking several times a week.

In fact, I've been walking 45 minutes 3-4 times a week! And I'm loving every minute of it. I started out walking 30 minutes, but I was quickly able to increase the time. And my walks have turned into somewhat of a wildlife adventure!

I've been walking in the evenings, and I inevitably see little bunnies and groundhogs every time I walk. And this past Tuesday, I even saw 3 deer in a field adjacent to the cemetery that I walk in. It's been fun to say the least. I love the country!

I haven't weighed myself in ages, but my sister told me this morning that she could tell that I've been losing weight. That totally made my day! And it actually feels good to not focus on numbers so much. However, I do think I'll weigh in soon... possibly the 1st of September.

I have nothing new to report on the home front, but I'm choosing to remain optimistic.

I hope you are all doing well! I'll check in again soon.

xo,
C.C.

Moving Forward

2010-08-11T14:26:00.004-04:00

You know what? I've decided that I'm not going to live in the past anymore. I've decided to move forward with my weight loss and just forget about all of my past attempts that have ended with less than stellar results. Today is a new day with no mistakes in it... and I am moving forward!

I've done well this past week. I've stayed on track with my eating, and I've managed to walk for 30-40 minutes at least three evenings. My goal is to walk 4 times a week, and to gradually increase the distance as the days go by.

And... I'm feeling better already... both physically AND emotionally. I always do when I'm eating and exercising. So... why do I ever get off track in the first place? Hmmm... it's an emotional thing for me, I guess. I still haven't fully learned how to disconnect food from my emotions, but I have learned a bit along the way.

Things are still the same on the homefront, but I have faith that that is going to change soon, too. And I do want to thank all of you who left such encouraging comments on my last post! I was blown away by your kind words of encouragement, and I am absolutely amazed that so many of you care about how I am doing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

xo,

C.C.

A New Beginning

2010-08-06T14:38:00.003-04:00

This week, I decided that things had to change. I decided that I had to start over on this journey to lose 200 pounds.

I've been doing poorly for so long. I think I gave up. I think life and circumstances overwhelmed me for a bit, and I just didn't care about anything... including myself.

I have to change. And in order to do that, I have to change my attitude. I have to change my outlook. I have to change my behaviour.

I'm taking small steps to get back on track. For the past 2 days I've been watching my food intake. I'm cutting back and eating healthier foods. Yesterday I did 15 minutes of a Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds DVD. Tonight I am planning on going for a walk in a local cemetery. (Some might think that's morbid, but it's actually my favorite place to walk. It's far away from traffic and people and I won't feel the embarrassment of people watching me.)

I don't want to be fat the rest of my life. But this is just so freaking hard, and I do get discouraged from time to time.

But... I have to change. I have GOT to get back on track... in spite of the present situation, in spite of everything.

Lord, help me!

Early Morning Update

2010-05-26T05:45:00.005-04:00

It's about 5:55 am Wednesday morning in my neck of the woods. Seems like I've been hiding out lately, hasn't it?

Oh my... you who know me well know that that is NOT a good sign. And... you're right.

Life has been crazy lately... and so have my eating habits.

I'm not feeling bad or depressed though. So I guess that's a good thing. I just feel kind of like... here we go again/story of my life.

One of these days I'm going to get it all together. I really am. I just hope it's soon.

Free to Fly

2010-05-10T12:57:00.005-04:00

Is this what it feels like to be free???

For the first time in a VERY long time... I am not obsessing about food and calories every second of every day. I feel like a load has been lifted. I feel like I finally have control over what is going into my mouth... instead of what's going into my mouth controlling me. I feel like I am eating like a "normal" person for the first time in my life.

It took a gain of almost 40 pounds... and a whole lot of thinking and pondering and plotting... to get me to this point. I just KNEW that I had to do things differently... that I HAD to find something that would work for me for the rest of my life. And, God willing... I think I've found it.

I decided that I just can't live the rest of my life being food-obsessed. I need to focus on what I CAN eat instead of what I CAN'T eat. And that's what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks. And I feel fantastic... both physically AND emotionally.

I'm eating 3 small meals a day, plus 2 or 3 snacks. I'm drinking lots of water. I'm not counting calories, but I am being mindful of portion sizes. I'm not measuring anything except salad dressing, because over the past year I've learned how big portion sizes are for various foods. And I've just been focusing on healthy foods. I'm eating lean protein, low-fat or fat-free dairy products, whole grain breads and cereals, and lots and lots of fruits and vegetables. And, since fruits and vegetables have NEVER put a pound of excess weight on this body... I'm allowing myself to eat as many servings of fruit and vegetables per day as I want.

Freedom from food obsession, freedom from calories, freedom from diets...

And, eventually... FREEDOM FROM FAT!

I feel like a butterfly slowly making its way out of a cocoon. And some day... I'm going to fly.

Eating and Losing

2010-05-07T12:49:00.005-04:00

Well, I'm happy to report that the scale is once again moving in the right direction!

I weighed in on Wednesday, and the scale showed a loss of 5.8 pounds! Yippee!

But the benefits of being back on track for a week do not stop there. I have SO much more energy, and I have been sleeping like a baby! During my time "in the ditch," I had absolutely NO energy... and I was not sleeping well at all. It's amazing that I'm experiencing such a change-for-the-better already. My mood has even improved... and that alone is worth it all!

And... thanks for the comments on the last post. It seems a lot of you like the approach of just eating healthy foods and not obsessing so much about counting every little calorie. So far... it's working for me. And I don't feel like I'm on a diet or like I am depriving myself.

I hope this is the answer to my life-long obesity problem. I really do!

Learning How and What to Eat

2010-05-04T12:35:00.005-04:00

So... I'm happy to report that I've been doing well with my eating since last Wednesday. And I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I need to eat for the rest of my life. I can't just look at this as a "diet." I need to learn how to eat.

Maybe I should focus on what I SHOULD eat instead of what I SHOULDN'T eat. Maybe if I commit to only eating healthy, natural, highly nutritious foods the pounds will just start to drop off. I won't starve myself or count calories... I'll just eat healthy foods. (I won't binge, either. I'll still monitor portion sizes.)

Hmmm... have any of you lost weight with this simple approach? Or do you swear by counting calories?

(PS: I'll be weighing in tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me!)

Crawling Out of the Ditch

2010-04-30T09:31:00.005-04:00

I'm slowly crawling out of the ditch that I fell into three and a half months ago. I've taken the first step... something that I've been avoiding like the plague. I actually stepped on the scale this past Wednesday and was faced with a number that I didn't really want to see. And I survived.

I knew I had gained weight. In fact, I knew I had gained A LOT of weight. But as bad as the number staring back at me was... it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I would weigh in at around 385. But I weighed in at 369.8.

Yeah... that number totally sucks. It totally sucks that I've gained almost 40 pounds in the past 3.5 months. And my only consolation is knowing that if I GAINED that much weight in 3.5 months... I can LOSE that much weight in 3.5 months.

All is not lost. I still have over 30 pounds off. And for that I am extremely grateful... and more than a bit lucky.

And, yes... I could totally kick myself for gaining back so much weight... but that isn't going to help anything. Instead... I'm going to pick myself up by the bootstraps and keep trudging forward. I'm crawling out of this ditch... and I'm going to start journeying down the road of weight loss once again.

I'm back. I've been doing well since Wednesday. I'll be weighing in every Wednesday from now on. And thanks to all of you who have encouraged me throughout my recent struggle. You reached down and helped to pull me out of the ditch... and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

xo,
C.C.

Thanks, Thanks, and More Thanks!

2010-04-24T20:56:00.003-04:00

I just want to thank everybody who has left comments for me recently.

Thanks for not giving up on me.

Thanks for believing in me.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone.

Your support and encouragement mean the world to me. I cannot even begin to express the emotions that welled up inside of me as I read each and every heartfelt comment left for me on my last post. Tears literally came to my eyes as I read. My heart was simply filled to overflowing with your kindness and understanding. What an awesome group of bloggers you are. What awesome PEOPLE you are!

I'm still not doing well... but knowing that you all have faith in me, knowing that many of you are in the same boat as me... gives me the courage to continue this journey. You all have been a ray of hope shining light into my seemingly hopeless situation... and for that I am sincerely grateful.

xo,
C.C.

Starting Over

2010-04-21T12:08:00.004-04:00

I've been trying to feel inspired to post for several days. And the inspiration just isn't there. I don't even know what to write. I wanted to update several days ago. I promised that I would. And somehow... I could not find the inclination to sit down and type.

What should I type? What do I have to say? What am I feeling? Questions, questions, questions...

I wish I could tell you all that I've gotten back on track, but I haven't. I wish I could tell you that I've lost 10 pounds since my last update, but I haven't. I wish I could tell you that I felt optimistic about losing weight, but I can't. All I feel right now is blah, blah, blah.

I know I've got to get back on track. I've got to. But why do I keep eating and eating and eating and getting fatter and fatter and fatter? I was doing so well. And now this... this awful, deep, dark funk that I've fallen into and can't seem to get out of.

Am I going to be fat forever? Should I just accept it and keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best? No... I cannot accept it. I don't want to be fat forever! I want to be normal. I want to know what it's like to live life in a normal-sized body. I don't want food to control my life anymore.

Why does food control my life? I've been asking myself that question a lot these past few weeks. And I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Why do I think about food constantly? Why has eating become my favorite activity? Why can't I just eat like a normal person? Why is food the first thing on my mind in the morning when I wake up and the last thing on my mind at night when I go to bed? Even when I am doing well and losing weight... what I am going to eat is still the one thing that I'm constantly thinking about.

I am addicted to food... the same way an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, the same way a drug addict is addicted to drugs, the same way a chain smoker is addicted to nicotine. Food is doing something for me that it was never meant to do. It is filling some other void in my life besides my body's need for sustenance. I turn to food for everything. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm lonely, I eat. When I'm bored, I eat. I just eat and eat and eat.

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to live my life constantly gaining and losing weight, constantly thinking about food.

How can I do so well for 11 months and then suddenly fall off the wagon so badly??? I not only fell off the wagon... I feel like after I fell off the wagon I rolled into a ditch... and now the ditch is filling up with water. I feel like I'm never going to get out of this ditch. But I know that I have to. I have got to get up out of this ditch and back on that wagon!

I haven't weighed myself for weeks now. I don't know how much I weigh. But I know I've gained a lot of weight. My clothes are all tight. I feel miserable in my own skin. I can't stand to look in the mirror. I feel so out of shape, so freaking fat and ugly and disgusting.

I don't know what to do to get out of this funk. I haven't been at a normal weight since I was three years old. I have lost and regained weight so many times I can't even count them all. I haven't been under 300 pounds in 11 years. I have SO much freaking weight to lose I don't even know where to begin.

But... I do know what I need to do. I need to eat right and exercise. I know what to do... but I just don't know why I can't seem to do it lately.

Sometimes I wonder why food has such a strong, powerful hold on me. I had a great childhood. I had a wonderful family and home life. I did well in school. We lived in a nice house. My parents loved each other. I can't blame my childhood for my weight problem.

The only thing I can think of is that when I was growing up it seems like a lot of family members died. My grandparents all died, several uncles died, someone was always dying. And when someone died... people brought food to our house. And there was always a meal after the funerals. Did I somehow learn to think that food was a comfort? That food was the answer when one was feeling blue? Did food make me feel better when the world around me was full of grief and pain? Did food become a friend to me that would never die, that would never go away, that would always be there for me... no matter what?

I honestly don't know. But that is the only explanation that even remotely seems to make sense to me.

I'm trying to start over. I'm trying to get a grip on all this and move forward. I'm trying very hard to not give up. And boy, oh boy, am I struggling. But maybe posting this today will help. Maybe just getting all this out in the open and venting will get the ball rolling in the right direction. I hope so. I really do.

Just a Note...

2010-04-07T10:23:00.002-04:00

Hi, everyone.

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here... still alive. lol

I'll be back later today with more of an update and will moderate and post everybody's previous comments at that time.

I just wanted to take a minute and pop in and say "hello."

I'll be baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

xo,
C.C.

Still Here...

2010-03-26T16:20:00.005-04:00

Just wanted to let you all know that...

I'm still here...

Still trying to get back on track...

Still not doing very well...

Still... HERE.

Feeling fat...

Feeling ugly...

Feeling sad.

Wanting to win this battle once and for all...

Because I just get so tired fighting sometimes.

I Think I Can...

2010-03-14T04:52:00.004-04:00

I think I can get back on track... one of these days. But... in spite of my best efforts... it hasn't happened yet. Sure, I've had a few good days here and there... but they've been smack dab in the middle of some pretty bad days.

I don't know why I either sink or swim with my eating. I'm either totally ON track... or totally OFF track. Why can't I find a happy medium somewhere??? Why can't I just eat like a "normal" person???

I get really tired of the struggle sometimes. Why does there even have to BE a struggle???

Those are just some questions I've been asking myself lately... and I'm really not sure what the answers are.

But... in the mean time...

I think I can... I think I can... I think I can...

Knowing What to Do

2010-03-06T11:31:00.003-05:00

So... I know what I need to do. Now... I just need to do it!

Here's the short list:

1. Start counting calories again and stay around 1,500-1,700 per day

2. Eat 5 small meals/snacks each day

3. Drink lots of water

4. Eliminate sugar and white flour from my eating plan

5. Exercise at least 3 days a week

6. Include a lean protein source with each meal/snack

That's pretty much what's worked for me this past year. And it sounds simple, doesn't it? So... why does it seem so hard sometimes???

I've been trying to regroup the past few days. I just can't let my emotions control my eating anymore. I'm going to get out of this deep, dark, dieting funk that I've been in. I know I am... and the sooner the better.

Better days are ahead. They have to be!

(PS: Thank you to those who have left encouraging comments on my last few posts. You're telling me exactly what I need to hear... and it really is helping! Thank you!)

Overcoming Discouragement

2010-03-02T10:36:00.006-05:00

So... I still haven't been doing very well.

But... today is a new day. I finally feel like I am in a place where I can get totally back on track and start losing weight again. It's been a long time since I felt that way. In fact... it's been almost 2 months.

And... I pretty much feel like crap... both physically and emotionally. I hate that I have let myself go for two months and have gained weight. I hate the extra pounds that I see when I look in the mirror. I hate the extra pounds that are causing my pants to fit tighter than they have fit in months. I hate the way this weight gain has made me feel about myself. I just feel fat and ugly and old.

And... I know precisely the moment when I fell off the wagon. I know what caused me to fall off the wagon big time. It was a big, freaking dose of discouragement in the form of a comment that my husband said to me on a Tuesday night back in January when we were watching "The Biggest Loser."

I should have blogged about this before. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have been on a downward spiral for the past two months and maybe I wouldn't have gained any weight. But that's in the past... and I'm moving on. I'm not going to let one lousy, discouraging comment control me anymore. My health and my life is more important than that comment... and I need to get over it already.

To be perfectly honest... I don't even remember EXACTLY what he said. But he inferred that I really wasn't losing weight very quickly and it was going to take me forever to get to a normal weight.

He didn't say it meanly or anything, but when he said it... it cut like a knife. I could have died. I just felt like giving up for good... and, in fact... I pretty much DID give up for two months. I held all of this pain and discouragement inside and I let it eat at me for 2 months... and I ate, and I ate, and I ate to numb my feelings. I turned to food for comfort the way an alcoholic turns to the bottle.

Today is a new day. I acknowledge that what he said hurt me tremendously and discouraged me to the point of almost no return. Today I am getting back up on my feet and moving forward and leaving all of the pain and discouragement behind. I don't need this excess baggage weighing me down anymore. I acknowledge it, I'm angry about it, but I'm moving on.

And I'm pondering what my new plan of attack for the rest of this years is. If you have any advice, I'd appreciate it. And I'll be back this week to let you all know what the next phase of my journey is going to be.

I hope you're all having a good week. Stay strong... and let's lose some weight together this year! :)

xo,

C.C.

Friday Thoughts

2010-02-19T13:36:00.005-05:00

Still struggling to find my mojo...

Wondering what in the world happened...

Knowing that eating is not the answer...

But finding it hard to stop...

But... I've got to stop...

I've got to get back on track...

I can't quit...

I can't give up...

I won't give up.

Lord, help me to not give up!

Love Notes to Ourselves

2010-02-14T14:04:00.009-05:00

I unexpectedly came across a very unique Valentine's Day post at the blog "Shutter Sisters" today. This was my first visit to "Shutter Sisters," actually... and the post challenged readers to write a love note to themselves.

And I thought... what a great idea! (Especially for weight loss bloggers... because we are notoriously hard on ourselves, aren't we?)

So... "in the spirit of love," I'm going to join in and write someting nice about me today...

Dear C.C.,

You are a loyal and loving wife, sister, and friend. You are a conscientious homemaker. You are creative and talented. You are loved by your wonderful husband, family, and friends. Life may not always be perfect... but you are perfectly blessed.

Congratulations on losing 51 pounds this past year! You have a long way to go... but that is still quite an accomplishment. Hang in there! Never, ever give up! You CAN do this!

Love,

Me :)

And now it's YOUR turn! Go ahead and write a love note to yourself today! And if you do... please let me know so I can make sure to pop on over to read it!

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you all! :)

Thank You and A Winner

2010-02-12T17:10:00.006-05:00

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to thank all of you who left a comment on my last post. Your words of support and encouragement mean more to me than you will ever know.

I felt alone and isolated in my struggle and recent weight gain and I was holding it all inside. Deciding to blog about it was very difficult for me. To be perfectly honest... I didn't want to admit my failure and weakness. I guess I was disappointed that I had let myself down... and I didn't want to let any of you down, either.

But... it turns out that blogging about it was the best thing in the world that I could have done! Admitting my problem really was the first step to overcoming the self-sabotaging behavior of the past month. It made me face reality and realize that I had to stop... or the 18 lb. gain could very well have turned into a 28 lb. gain... or more.

And your comments... oh... your wise, wonderful comments! YOU made me realize that I am not alone... that I am not the only one who struggles and fights... sometimes overcoming... sometimes falling down... but never giving up. YOU gave me hope and the push in the right direction that I needed to get back on track and keep going... no matter how long it takes. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And I'm so happy that one of you is the winner of a recent giveaway that I posted about HERE. Pop on over to see who it is!

Have a great weekend, my friends!

xo,
C.C.

The Journey Continues...

2010-02-10T09:43:00.006-05:00

Remember yesterday? It was February 9th... my one-year anniversary of getting back-on-track. And a month ago... I was SO excited for February 9th to arrive! I was 331.6 pounds... and could not wait for my one-year weigh-in. I was pretty sure I would be in the 320's with a one-year weight loss of over 70 pounds.

Well... that was then... and this is now. Let's just say that I have had an absolutely HORRIBLE month... and I am nowhere near the 320's. And yes, stress and emotional eating had EVERYTHING to do with it.

I was afraid to get on the scale yesterday... REALLY afraid. I knew that I had gained a significant amount of weight because my clothing was starting to fit tighter. And I could see it in the mirror. There was no denying it. I'd dodged some bullets over the past year... but this was NOT one of those times. This was a for-real weight gain... and I was scared.

To be perfectly honest... I felt like a big, fat failure... and I seriously considered giving up for good. I didn't want to get online and post about my weight gain. And I even considered disappearing from blog land entirely.

How could I do so well for 11 months... and on the 12th month do EVERYTHING wrong??? Hadn't I learned ANYTHING in the past 11 months? How can I help and inspire anyone else when I can't even help myself?

It all came down to perseverance. That's what this blog is about. It's not about quick weight-loss. It's not about starving oneself. It's not about perfection. This blog is about not giving up. It's about not quitting. It's about getting up... no matter how many times you've fallen down. And that's why I'm here today... because maybe someone else has fallen down, too... and we both need to know that we CAN get back up and start moving forward again.

I am not proud to admit that when I stepped on the scale yesterday I weighed in at 349.8 lbs. That is an 18.2 lb. gain in one month. That is just crazy... and there is no excuse for it. I totally fell off the wagon and was using food for comfort... and this was the end result.

Instead of giving up... I have determined to go on. This is not the end of the journey for me... this is just another fresh beginning. I'm choosing to move forward... focusing on the future instead of regretting the past.

This is a new day... a fresh start... and I will never give up. I've come too far to turn back now. And instead of beating myself up over an 18.2 lb. gain... I am celebrating the 51 pounds that I did lose and have kept off this past year.

So... the journey continues... just taking it one day at a time and doing the best that I can each day... and remembering to never, ever give up.

A "Souper" Giveaway!

2010-02-08T00:44:00.013-05:00

The kind folks at Progresso recently contacted me with an offer that I just could not refuse, and I am sure you're going to love it, too! I'm moving the post which was here to a new review site I've created, so for more information and to enter, please go HERE, and if you've already left a comment at this post, don't worry because you're still entered in the giveaway!

Thanks!
C.C.

Happy Friday!

2010-02-05T13:48:00.005-05:00

Thank you to Chubba Momma, Hanlie, Alan, and Shihtzuma for recently bestowing upon me the "Happy Blogger Award." I am truly honored to have received this award from 4 such wonderful people. You are all an inspiration to me... and it makes me HAPPY to have such great blog buddies! :)

I'm supposed to post 10 things that make me happy now... so here goes...

1. My husband - I absolutely adore this man! He is intelligent, funny, handsome, wise, generous, hard-working, and the list could go on and on! And... he loves me!

2. My sister - She's the best sister in the world. Really. We've always been super-close and I know that I can always count on her no matter what.

3. The outdoors - I absolutely love being outside. I love walks in the woods, trees, flowers, bubbling brooks, birds, etc.

4. The feeling you get when all the monthly bills are paid.

5. Bosom Friends - If you've read or watched "Anne of Green Gables," you know what I'm talking about. I am happy that I have BOSOM friends!

6. Going for rides - I'm a simply person, really. One of my favorite things to do is to just hop in the car with my husband and head for the country so we can explore some back roads together.

7. The sweet scent of a baby - Is there anything as sweet as this in the entire world? I think not!

8. Chocolate - Yes... this is a weight loss blog... but... there's just something about chocolate that makes me happy! lol

9. Reading a good book - I love to be able to sit down and relax with a good book.

10. Flowers for no reason - This is ALMOST as sweet as the scent of a baby!

And... actually making this list made me happy!!! It's amazing how when we focus on the positive things just seem so much better!

And... I'd like to pass this "Happy Blogger" award to the 10 people who left me comments on THIS POST... because they really made me happy! :)

Excitement Around the Bend

2010-02-04T13:02:00.002-05:00

I'm so excited! I have an awesome, fantastic, wonderful giveaway to post about the beginning of next week! I'm talking extraordinary! I promise you are going to love this! I just need to sample a few more products... and then I'll fill you in on all of the super details!

I can hardly wait! :)

I Love Free Samples!

2010-01-25T20:22:00.003-05:00

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to pass on this free sample offer that I just discovered. It's from Kashi, and you can choose from...

-GOLEAN Crisp!™ Toasted Berry Crumble cereal
Crispy clusters tossed with blueberries and cranberries

-TLC® Dark Chocolate Coconut Fruit & Grain bar
Chewy granola bar topped with dark chocolate and coconut flakes

-GOLEAN Crunch!® Honey Almond Flax cereal
Crunchy almonds, golden honey and toasty grains

I chose the TLC Dark Chocolate Coconut Fruit & Grain bar. I can't wait to try it!

This offer is for US residents only, and as long as supplies last. I'd act quickly... because it seems like sample offers like this always go fast!

Here's the link:

Kashi Free Sample

xo,
C.C. :)

Seven Secrets

2010-01-22T15:21:00.005-05:00

Thank you, Chubba Momma and Cactus Freak, for the sweet "Beautiful Blogger" awards that you recently gave to me. I appreciate your kindness so much. And I just want to say that I think all of my blog buddies are beautiful!

The rules of the award state that I am to tell you 7 things about myself that you wouldn't know. Sounds kind of fun and mysterious. hehe So... here goes...

1. I've been scared of bears my entire life. When I was a child... I used to have nightmares of bears coming to my house at night, busting the windows, and breaking into my bedroom. Scary stuff!

2. My dad taught me how to drive when I was 13 years old, and he would let me drive on the highway sometimes. (Not major interstates... just roads in the country that never had much traffic.)

3. My favorite toys when I was a child were my Barbie Dolls. I always got a new one for Christmas each year. But I always chopped their hair off. And then I hated what they looked like with short hair. lol I eventually outgrew that hair-chopping stage, thank God. My Barbies were quite thankful as well. hehe

4. I would love to live in a cabin beside a lake in the middle of the woods... surrounded by mountains and trees.

5. When I was a child, I used to be afraid to look up at the sky at night because I was afraid I would see a UFO.

6. Watching fireworks is one of my favorite things in the world!

7. I stole a seahorse charm from my school's "lost and found" shelf when I was in second grade. I felt SO guilty I took it back the next day. hehe

Wow... that was fun! I didn't realize I had so many fears when I was a child though. lol Honestly... I didn't even list them all. I used to be afraid of Bigfoot, too. lol

Anyway... I'm SUPPOSED to nominate 7 more bloggers for this award... but I can't do that because I think that ALL of you are beautiful bloggers and I'd love to read 7 secrets about ALL of you! So... if you'd like to participate... please do! Just let me know that you did so I can read your lists. :)

Thanks again, Chubba Momma and Cactus Freak! You guys rock! :)

Roller Coaster Ride

2010-01-21T14:57:00.003-05:00

I've totally been on a weight-loss roller coaster ride the past two weeks. Actually... I think it's been longer than that. It seems more like the past few months!

It seems like I do very well for a week or so... and then I do very poorly for a week or so. And then I do very well for a week or so, etc., etc., etc. You get the picture.

And I've been lucky... because any weight that I gained during the not-so-good weeks rapidly disappeared during the on-plan weeks. But... I haven't really been making any progress lately when it comes to actual NEW weight loss. I've been gaining and losing the same few pounds for weeks now. And... lemme tell ya... I'm getting a little sick of it.

I've GOT to get off of this little dieting roller coaster NOW! I don't want to stay at 330 pounds indefinitely. I want to lose some more weight, for crying out loud! I REALLY want to get under 300 pounds within the next 6 months. But if I don't snap out of this crazy fog I've been in... that is not going to happen.

So far today... I've been on-plan. The roller coaster ride has slowed and is coming to a halt. And I'm getting ready to unbuckle the safety belt and set my feet back on solid ground again.

And one of these days... I'm actually going to be able to ride a REAL roller coaster and won't have to worry about fitting anymore! Woo hoo! I am SO looking forward to that day!

Kiss the Cook Friday... I Mean Thursday

2010-01-14T12:05:00.004-05:00

It is so chilly where I live today... I thought it would be a good day to share a recipe for chili. Get it? Chilly/chili? hehe

It seems like everyone has a favorite recipe for chili, and this happens to be mine. And one of the good things about chili is that you can play with it a bit. You want it hotter? Add some hot sauce. You like corn or chick peas in your chili? Go ahead and dump some in. Play with this recipe and make it your OWN. I won't mind. :)

And... if you'd rather cook this in a crock pot instead of stove top, switch the ground beef for a lean cut of steak and go for it! I've made it both ways... and they're both winners.

Chili a la Chubby Chick

1 pound lean ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green pepper, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1 teaspoon paprika
3 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 (14 1/2-ounce) cans diced tomatoes (preferably Mexican or Italian style), with liquid
1 15-ounce can kidney beans (or pinto beans), drained and rinsed
1 T. sugar, optional

1. Spray a large soup pot with cooking spray.

2. Put pot on burner and heat burner to medium high. Toss in the meat, onions, and green peppers. Cook until meat has been browned and veggies are slightly cooked.

3. Add remaining ingredients to pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer for about 2-3 hours. (Stir frequently. Remove lid during last half hour of simmering.)

4. Serve sprinkled with low-fat cheddar cheese and/or fat-free sour cream, if desired. Makes 4 servings.

(This recipe makes about 5 cups of chili. The ground beef I used was 140 calories per 4 oz. serving. One cup of chili is 180 calories. And... this tastes even better the second day!)

Pants on the Ground

2010-01-13T22:26:00.003-05:00

"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground

Lookin' like a fool with my pants on the ground."

Oh.my.Lord! I cannot get that song out of my head! lol

If you watched "American Idol" tonight... you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. lol

Sorry... just had to share that with all of you. lol Back with a real post tomorrow, my dears! :)

Never Give Up

2010-01-08T08:33:00.005-05:00

As many of you know, 11 months ago I had a big wake-up call when I stepped on the scale and weighed over 400 lbs. It was a horrible, horrible moment in my life... and from that moment on I KNEW that I had to change my lifestyle... or else.

I just read the post that I wrote that day, titled "Unbelievable," and I'm going to share it in full today in this post, because it absolutely bears repeating. Some of you have read it before, and some of you haven't. But I just want that post to serve as a reminder to me... and to all of you... that no matter how bad the current circumstances seem... we ALL have the power to change our lives for the better.

Today I stepped on the scale and weighed in at 331.6 lbs, almost 70 pounds less than what I weighed 11 months ago. And oh, what a wonderful, wonderful feeling that was! I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I hope this post will inspire all of you to never, ever give up.

Unbelievable

"I am sitting here shocked, appalled, embarrassed, nervous, scared, and my stomach is in knots. I weighed myself this morning for the first time since last November. I didn't expect to see a pleasing number, but I was in no way prepared for what showed up on my scale. It was an all-time high, and right now I am feeling at an all-time low.

I have a Weight Watchers scale that weighs up to 400 lbs. When I got on the scale this morning, the letters "ERR" showed up. I thought it was a mistake, so I got off and tried again. It was no mistake. The letters "ERR" showed up again. And for the first time in my life... I weigh over 400 lbs.

I cannot even begin to describe how horrible I feel right now. I never thought it would come to this. I never thought I would weigh over 400 lbs. I can't even believe I just wrote "I weigh over 400 lbs."

I knew I had gained weight since Thanksgiving. I expected the scale to say 390-something. Hitting the 400 lb. mark was just not fathomable to me. I was never going to weigh that much. Ever. I might hit 399... but 400 was out of the question. Boy was I wrong.

It's bad enough knowing that I hit the 400 lb. mark. But it's even worse not knowing the exact number. Am I 401? Am I 405? Am I 410? 415??? What the heck do I weigh???

Weighing this much is just not acceptable. I've never really been scared about my weight before... but today I am scared. Today I am in shock. Today feels like my worst nightmare has come true.

Today has GOT to be the first day of the rest of my life. From this day forward, I must do everything in my power to lose weight and keep it off. I can't play games anymore. I can't move forward with anything less than 100% commitment and determination. I must make the correct choices every day of the rest of my life... or I'm not going to HAVE a life."

Best Breakfast of 2009

2010-01-06T03:00:00.001-05:00

You know what they say. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Right? Does everybody agree with that? I sure do!

Breakfast jump-starts our metabolism, for one thing. And I'm all for a jumpin' metabolism, lemme tell ya. hehe

And WHAT we eat for breakfast will often determine how much energy and stamina we have as we go about our morning routine.

Eat a tiny bowl of sugar-coated cereal at 7:00 am, and I bet you'll be fighting a case of the munchies by 9:00. Sure, that stack of pancakes with a cup of sugary syrup LOOKS mighty yummy... but once that sugar-high wears off... you're probably going to find yourself walking down the hallway in search of the nearest vending machine or carelessly combing through the kitchen cupboards.

One thing I've learned this past year in regard to my weight loss is that eating a nutritious and filling breakfast in the morning is crucial for my success. I need to eat a healthy, tasty breakfast that will give me lots of energy and not make me feel deprived or like I'm on a "diet." Because you know what a "diet" is. It's "die" with a "t."

And honestly, in almost 2.5 years of weight loss blogging... I have never really given any "dieting" advice. I am not a doctor. (But I did play one on TV. Not! hehe)

But today I AM going to give you some advice... whether you're "dieting" or not. It's real simple... just two words...

EAT BREAKFAST!

Seriously... don't skip breakfast (or any meal) and starve yourself. Experiment with healthy breakfast foods and don't give up until you find THE breakfast that works for you... the one that gives you energy and keeps you feeling satisfied well into the morning... the one that keeps you away from that vending machine and out of the kitchen cupboards.

Last year, I literally ate the same breakfast 95% of the time. It is officially my "Best Breakfast of 2009." It's quick and easy to make, and it's healthy, too. It gives me more energy and keeps me feeling full longer than any other breakfast I've tried. In fact, I love it so much that breakfast has actually become my favorite meal of the day!

My "Best Breakfast of 2009"... and really of all-time... is...

1 100-calorie whole grain English Muffin, toasted
2 T. of natural peanut butter
1 cup orange juice
1 cup coffee with 1 T. creamer

That's it. Simple, yummy, and nutritious! And I highly recommend that you try it!

And... yes, I'm "drinking my calories" with the orange juice instead of just eating an orange. But... I LOVE to "drink my calories" at breakfast! hehe And, honestly... I just do not like eating oranges that much. (It's something about the texture. I don't like mangoes or watermelon either.)

What I'm trying to say is simply this: Find the breakfast that works for YOU. Because YOUR eating plan is all about YOU, isn't it???

For more information about why you should eat a nutritious breakfast each morning, HERE'S a great article.

And one more thing... what was YOUR "Best Breakfast of 2009?"

Things I Told Myself Today

2010-01-04T15:00:00.004-05:00

Today, on this... the first Monday of 2010... I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror... and this is what I said...

"You've got to keep going. You have GOT to keep going. Do not give up. You still have a long way to go. You cannot quit now."

I've given myself a lot of pep talks like that these past few months. And you know what? As silly as it sounds... they really help me.

Have any of you ever tried that? If so... what do you tell yourself?

Revelations Revealed

2010-01-01T10:33:00.007-05:00

So... I mentioned yesterday that I wasn't going to make any New Year's Resolutions this year. And you know why? Because they're just SO darn hard to keep! I really don't need that kind of pressure! lol

Instead... I've been pondering this past year of weight loss. I think I did pretty well overall. I've lost almost 70 pounds since February 9, 2009. Not bad... not bad at all! But... I know that I could have done better.

I'm not beating myself up about it. But I don't want to make the same mistakes in 2010 that I made in 2009. So... hopefully I'll be a little bit wiser this year... instead of just older. hehe

Things that I've learned (the hard way!) this past year include...

1. I do better when tempting foods are kept out of the house.

2. Foods that have tempted me the most this past year... and caused me to fall off the wagon a few times... include pizza, cookies, and cake.

3. I am not perfect. Except it and move on.

4. Don't wallow in self pity.

5. I can't rely on my husband for encouragement and motivation. Sad... but true. My husband is a great guy... but I can count on one hand the number of times that he has said something encouraging in regard to my weight loss this past year. This has derailed me in the past, because I would always feel bad and feel like "what's the use to even lose weight if he never even notices." And I would end up getting depressed... and then I would give up... and I would gain 50 pounds seemingly overnight. I literally forced myself to not rely on his support and encouragement this past year. I told myself that it was OK... that as long as I kept going... he WOULD eventually notice and compliment me. And a few times... he did. It just wasn't as often as I would have liked.

6. In the long run... I'm losing this weight FOR ME... not for anybody else. This kind of goes along with #5. Sure, part of my motivation for losing weight is to look good for my husband. But that is not the MAIN reason. If he never gives me another compliment in regard to my weight loss ever again... it doesn't matter. Because I am still going to look in the mirror and see the results of my hard work. And I will feel a sense of accomplishment for what I have achieved. And I will feel good about MYSELF. This journey isn't about him, my best friend, my family, my neighbors, or anybody else. It's about ME and MY quality of life.

7. I need to exercise more. To be perfectly honest... I hate to exercise. Or maybe I'm lazy. But for whatever reason... I rarely exercised in this past year. Sometimes I did really well for a few weeks... but then I would stop for several weeks. I definitely need to work out more often.

(And ... thanks to Alan from Fools Fitness... working out just may become a lot more fun for me in 2010! He notified me that I won a giveaway that he was hosting, and I won a Kathy Smith Latin rythmn workout DVD! How cool is that??? I'm looking forward to trying it out... and I'm hoping that this will jump start my commitment to regular exercise this year! Thanks, Alan!)

8. I need to limit homemade treats to holidays ONLY. I can't be baking a cake in the middle of October for no reason. Brownies in June is a recipe for dieting disaster! No more homemade baked goods on non-holidays, C.C.!

9. Falling off the wagon does not mean that I am a failure and I am going to gain back all of the weight that I've lost. STAYING off the wagon will cause me to fail and gain back all of the weight that I've lost. Quick recovery is the key!

I honestly think this is the most valuable lesson I have learned all year... because I fell off the wagon A LOT. But... I took it in stride. I didn't get all depressed about it and go on a 6-week binge... and then totally give up... and end up not dieting again for 3 years. I cannot even count the number of times that that has happened to me in the past!

In 2009... I forced myself to get back on the wagon quickly. I didn't beat myself up. I just looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Girl... you've got to keep going. You've GOT to keep going." And... somehow... that's what I did.

10. Don't rely totally on the scale as a measure of your weight loss success. Why? Because scales can be totally inaccurate at times. Many things affect our weight at any given moment of the day or month. Feeling a bit hormonal? Eating too much salty food? Stay away from the scale. I repeat... STAY AWAY FROM THE SCALE!

11. I feel best and lose the most weight when I drink lots of water, eat lean cuts of meat, eat lots of fruits and veggies, avoid sugar, and eat whole grains. Period.

12. I do best when I track my calories every day.

13. Emotional eating is my biggest downfall. I've REALLY got to work on that in 2010.

14. Celebrate EVERY loss... even if it's "only" 0.2 lbs.

Wow... those are just SOME of the lessons I've learned this past year! And they're probably the most important ones.

What lessons did YOU learn in 2009?

Out With the Old, In With the New!

2009-12-31T15:17:00.004-05:00

My, oh my! Blogging is difficult over the holidays, isn't it???

I just wanted to pop in today to say that I wish all of you a wonderful and safe New Year's Eve... and a very, very Happy New Year!

I'm not making any resolutions for the coming year. Instead... I'll be posting some REVELATIONS from the year 2009. They'll be coming soon (as soon as I get a minute! lol) so pop back in over the next couple days!

And... I actually WON a giveaway! I'll be posting about that, too. :)

Also... I want to send a BIG "thank you" to everyone who has supported, encouraged, and followed my journey over this past year... and even since the start of this blog back in August 2007. I would have never gotten so far along in my journey had it not been for all of YOU. And for that I am eternally grateful! THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

2010 is going to be a GREAT year around here. I hope you all come along for the ride! :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
C.C.

Post-Christmas Workout

2009-12-29T15:05:00.004-05:00

Boy am I getting a workout today! Can anybody guess what I'm doing???

Well, let me tell ya! I'm taking down the Christmas tree and all of my other Christmas decorations! Anybody wanna come help? lol

Holy moley... I'm tired! Why is it always SO much more fun to put the tree up than it is to take it down? Does anybody else feel this way... or am I the only one? lol

Oh well, at least I'm burning a few calories in the process. I've definitely eaten more than I should have the past few days... and I'm in the process of getting back on track today. And I'm totally looking forward to a clean, fresh start at losing weight in 2010! It's going to be a good year... and I can't wait until I'm out of the 300's FOREVER! Hopefully it will be sooner than later! :)

I hope you're all having a great day!

xo,
C.C.

Merry Christmas Weigh-In

2009-12-25T13:21:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas, my dears! I hope you are all enjoying a wonderful holiday filled with lots of love, laughter... and salad. hehe

I stepped on the scale this morning to see if my Christmas dream had come true... and... it has! I weighed in at 331.2 lbs... the lowest weight I've seen all year! I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present! Woo hoo!

And now... I'm looking forward to New Year's Day. I'll weigh in to see how much weight I've officially lost in 2009. So far that total is 69.6 lbs. Oh... I am SO close to having 70 pounds off! That will be my goal for January 1st. Wish me luck! :)

Merry Christmas! :) (Just can't say that enough! hehe)

And the Winner Is...

2009-12-25T13:11:00.004-05:00

Nicki!

Your name was chosen by random drawing this Christmas Day! Congratulations and thanks for participating!

Also,... thanks to all who participated in the giveaway. It was fun and perhaps I'll have another one sometime in the future.

(PS: Nicki, I tried to visit your blog to tell you the good news... but it's private. So please email me with your shipping information as soon as possible and I'll get your prize in the mail right away! Thanks!)

Santa is the Devil... hehe

2009-12-24T15:36:00.004-05:00

So... guess what Santa brought me this afternoon... on this, the eve of my big Christmas weigh-in!

A large pepperoni pizza,

A bag of Doritos,

A bag of BBQ Chips,

4 boxes of pudding,

A package of lemon sandwich cookies,

A box of Little Debbie snack cakes,

2 half-gallons of ice-cream,

and a partridge in a pear tree. Not. (on the partridge in a pear tree, that is... hehe)

Aaaggghhhhh!!!

And then Santa announced, "We can eat anything we want the next few days. The next few days will be free."

Aaaggghhhh!!! again!!!

Actually... it wasn't Santa. It was my darling husband. My true love... and I really do wish that he had brought home a partridge in a pear tree instead of all of this junk! Eeeks!

So... here I am... a house full of snackies... a weigh-in scheduled for tomorrow morning... and holiday cheer in the air. What am I going to do?

Here are my options:

A. Dive in head first and let the chips (literally) fall where they may

B. Avoid all of this crap like it is the plague

C. Nibble on a few bits here and there this evening (Christmas Eve) and tomorrow (Christmas Day) and THEN avoid it like the plague

Hmmm... Option A does not sound like a good idea at all. Option B would be my best choice for sure. But Option C seems more realistic to me, especially considering that I already ate 2 pieces of pizza and 3 cookies for lunch. Hmmm... not good, but really not that bad either... as long as I do well the rest of the day.

I keep telling myself that Christmas only comes once a year. And I have all of 2010 to lose weight. But... I'm still going to control myself so I don't gain any weight between Christmas and New Years Day.

And... like I said... my big weigh-in is tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

And... have a great Christmas Eve and Christmas!

xo,
C.C.

To You and Yours...

2009-12-24T12:37:00.001-05:00

Looking Forward to Christmas

2009-12-22T14:18:00.007-05:00

I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year... and not only for all the traditional holiday reasons. I'm looking forward to Christmas because I'm going to weigh in first thing in the morning!

Most Christmases I've avoided the scale like the plague... but not this year. I've actually managed to stay on track quite nicely the past few weeks. (Avoiding holiday baking has helped enormously!) And I'm hoping to reap the benefits of this cookie-free December by waking up Christmas morning weighing less than I have all year.

What a great Christmas present that would be! What's #1 on your wish-list this year? :)

PS: There's still time to enter "The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe" giveaway and win THIS BOOK! :)

My Favorite Kind of Cupcake

2009-12-18T20:39:00.003-05:00

I love cupcakes... especially calorie-free ones! Check them out HERE! :)

I'm Dreaming of a Light Christmas

2009-12-18T05:21:00.005-05:00

Only 7 more days 'til Christmas! Yippee! And this year the gift that I'm most hoping to receive cannot be found under any brightly lit Christmas tree. It won't be in any stockings hung by the chimney with care. And Jolly old St. Nick, though he IS everyone's favorite chubster of all time, doesn't have a clue.

This year... I'm dreaming of a LIGHT Christmas!

What I want more than anything on Christmas day is to step on the scale and weigh less than I have weighed on any other day of this past year! I want to be LIGHTER than I've been at any point in 2009!

Every other year of my life... I've gained a lot of weight over the holidays. And this year around Thanksgiving, it seemed like that trend was going to continue. I was having some major struggles... many of them involving cookies. And I honestly did not know if I had the power to get back on track. For the first time since February... I was scared. I was scared that I was going to totally lose control and gain back every pound that I had lost so far this year.

I really don't even know how I got back on track, but I'm SO glad that I did! I think the dread of gaining everything back was just SO overwhelmingly awful that the fear of it finally forced me to change my destructive behavior. I realized that I HAD to do something... and I had to do it immediately!

This time last year... I weighed close to 400 pounds. And I NEVER want that to be my reality ever again.

So with a week left 'til Christmas day... I'm going to keep dreaming and doing the best that I can each day... because the "light" Christmas that I'm dreaming of can only come from me. And I honestly cannot think of a better gift that I could give to myself.

What kind of Christmas are you dreaming of this year? :)

I'm Melting! I'm Melting!

2009-12-16T07:51:00.005-05:00

Yay! I weighed in this morning, and I'm happy to report a 3.8 lb. loss since last Thursday! That means I'm back down to 334.0 lbs., which is the lowest weight I've reported since starting this blog almost 2.5 years ago. All together I'm down 66.8 lbs. since Feb. 2009. It feels good to be melting away! hehe

It seems like I've been losing weight more slowly the past few months, but honestly, it's my own fault. I've fallen off the wagon more times than I can count. But... this time... I've learned to get back up ONTO the wagon instead of just lying on the ground in a puddle of self-pity. And that has made ALL the difference in the world. I may not be losing quickly... but I AM steadily losing... and that's the most important thing.

I'm hoping to do well the rest of this month. A Christmas binge is NOT in the plans this year. I've been there/done that WAY too many times in the past. For once in my life... I want to make it through the holiday season WITHOUT a weight gain. And I think that would be the best Christmas present ever. Wish me luck... and I'll do the same for you! :)

Have a great day, everyone! And no matter what... DON'T QUIT! :)

"The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe" and a Giveaway

2009-12-14T10:08:00.012-05:00

I'm so excited to announce the opening of my new online store, "The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe!"

Some of you may have noticed the shoppe button on my sidebar, and some of you have already purchased items. (Thank you!) But I wanted to officially introduce the shop today... and I'm also hosting a giveaway.

"The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe" is an online store that will feature brand-new or gently worn plus-size clothing, hand-made crafty items, and other pretty and useful things. Offering quality, affordable items with prompt shipping is my top priority. And complete customer satisfaction is my goal. In plain English... I will not sell junk. Be sure to stop by often so you don't miss out on sales and "Sunday Specials."

A few of the items that I currently have listed include a Cranberry Velvet Special Occasion Dress, Black Cocktail Maxi-Dress, Black Velvet Burnout Shawl, Hand-Crocheted "Sugar Plum" Afghan, "Blueberry-Lemon" Quilt, and the complete "Twilight" series. New merchandise will be added weekly, and most items ship free of charge. Expect lots of brand new plus-size clothing at bargain prices to arrive this week! (For now... merchandise may only be purchased and shipped within the continental U.S. Sorry!)

And now... on to the giveaway...

You can enter three times to win the book "Finally Thin: How I Lost Over 200 Pounds and Kept Them Off - and How You Can Too" by Kim Bensen. Included in this hardcover book are over 70 recipes.

Enter by 1. commenting on this post, 2. blogging about this post, and 3. by becoming a "Follower" of "The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe." If you enter by blogging about this post, please leave a comment with the link of your post. Simple as that! All entries must be received by 1:00 pm (EST) Thursday, December 24, 2009. I will have a random drawing and will announce the winner on Christmas Day. (Giveaway offered to residents of continental U.S. only.)

I do look forward to serving you, and I sincerely hope that "The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe" will be a nice, little, friendly place for you to shop on the web. :)

It's the Most Tempting Time of the Year

2009-12-13T05:30:00.000-05:00

Wow! Can you believe that's it's December 13th already??? December 13th!!! Christmas is a mere 12 days away! Eeek!

Are you ready? Have you been busy? Have you been eating cookies???

Without a doubt... the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's is the most difficult time of the year for someone trying to lose weight. Temptation can be found, well... everywhere!

One thing that has been working for me so far this month is that I have not baked any homemade goodies. Remember the Sugar Cookies I made a few days before Thanksgiving? Yeah... well... they were the devil. And I realized that sometimes it is just better for me to not have ANY type of sweet temptations in the house... especially homemade yum-yums. So... I've resisted the urge to bake more cookies... and that has helped me immensely!

How have you all been coping? Do you have any tips or advice to make it through the holidays without the typical 10 lb. weight gain?

The Mirror Doesn't Lie, Unfortunately

2009-12-11T17:04:00.005-05:00

Well, today I got a shocking dose of reality. Here's what happened...

My husband and I somehow ended up in the bathroom for a few fleeting seconds this afternoon, and as we were briefly standing together with the side view of our bodies facing the mirror... I turned my head and looked at our reflections. OMG! I looked like I am at least twice as wide as him!

I was shocked and appalled. I honestly thought that I was probably about as wide from front to back as he was. Yeah, he weighs about 75 or 80 pounds less than me... but I thought that because he's a man and most of his excess weight is in his belly... and I'm a woman and most of my excess weight is from the waist down... that somehow I looked like I was closer to his size. Boy was I wrong!

The little delusional bubble that I have apparently been living in for awhile now has been sufficiently BUSTED, to say the least! lol

Oh well. It is what it is.

But... it is NOT what it is going to be!

Some day I'll weigh less than him. Someday... when we're standing together in front of that mirror... I will NOT have to stifle my gag reflex! Instead... I'll be smiling ear to ear... and the trauma that I've experienced gazing at my reflection in mirrors my entire life will be a thing of the past.

What about you guys? How do you feel when you see yourself in the mirror?

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year... to Dress Up, That Is!

2009-12-10T12:47:00.019-05:00

It's the time of year for parties and socializing! And while I hope that we can all make it through the season without a huge weight gain... we still need to look good doing it!

Are you invited to a Christmas party this year? A New Year's Eve party? And you don't have a thing to wear??? Well... no need to worry! I've got a beautiful black size 26W "Onyx Nite" cocktail dress with a beaded empire waist, a cranberry-colored velvet special occasion dress, and 2 fabulous black evening shawls to sell to anyone who is in need of some gorgeous yet inexpensive holiday attire!

The black cocktail dress, as stated, is Size 26W, has a beaded empire waist, and is 92% Polyester/8% Spandex. I wore this once for a family wedding. This dress was purchased at a retail sale price of $89.99. I'm asking $35.00/free shipping. (Pic at bottom of post.)

The cranberry-colored velvet special occasion dress is from Zaftique and is size 3X. I paid the retail price of $95.00 for this dress, and I have never worn it. It would be perfect for a holiday party or Christmas Eve Service! This beautiful dress may be purchased for $35.00/free shipping. (Pic at bottom of post.)

The black, sheer, hand-beaded evening shawl is absolutely beautiful! It has never been worn, and the tag is still attached. It was hand-made in India. It is 20" x 72". I paid $60.00 retail, and will sell this gorgeous shawl for $25.00/free shipping. (Pic at bottom of post.) THIS ITEM HAS BEEN SOLD.

The final item, a black velvet burnout evening shawl, was worn once. It is soft and luxurious, and the size is 20" x 76". I paid $55.00 retail, and will sell this beautiful shawl for $25.00/free shipping. (Pic at bottom of post.)

These offers are for residents of the continental U.S. only. (Sorry!)

If anyone is interested, please drop me a line at gottalose200pounds@yahoo.com

Thanks!

(Click on pics to enlarge.)

Update: Black Hand-Beaded Shawl has been SOLD.

I wish I had a better camera! The photos do not do these garments justice!

If you're interested these items, please check out my new shoppe...

The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe: Pretty Things... From Me... To You (More info. about that will be coming soon!)

I also have 6 exercise dvds to offer you and they are offered at "The Tickle Me Pretty Shoppe" as well.

Busy Dodging Bullets

2009-12-09T14:13:00.009-05:00

So... how have you all been doing? Is holiday stress and busy-ness taking its toll on you... and your diet? Has healthy eating and exercise fallen to the back burner so far this month? It has for me... in spite of trying to get back on track last week.

The good news is... I dodged a lot of bullets when I stepped on the scale for my 10-month weigh-in this morning!

To be perfectly honest... I was debating whether to weigh in or just skip it. I have been eating VERY poorly since the week of Thanksgiving. I just have not been able to get totally back on track, and I was scared of what the scale would say today. I expected to see a 10-15 pound gain... but... thank God... the scale only showed a 3.6 lb. gain. I was flabbergasted... and EXTREMELY relieved, as you can imagine!

Seeing a SMALL gain instead of a LARGE gain truly was the silver lining to this weight-gain-cloud. It actually gave me HOPE that I can keep going and continue to lose weight the rest of this year... and beyond. And... to be perfectly honest... HOPE is something that I really needed to feel this morning.

I feel like I've been given a second chance to succeed... and I am determined to stay "on track" today... and the rest of the month. I'm sticking to 1,500 calories a day, and hopefully by my next weigh-in I'll be back down to 334 lbs.

Also, thanks to everyone who gave me a chicken recipe in the comments of my last post! Every recipe appealed to me... but, alas... my husband wanted me to make a chicken pie instead. Not the healthiest choice by any means, but I gotta keep my man happy, right? hehe However... I DO look forward to trying some of those recipes that you all submitted! Thanks again! :)

I hope you are all having a great week! Stay strong... and do your best to not get caught up in the "holiday eating!" I'll be rooting for you! :)

xo,
C.C.

Got Chicken?

2009-12-03T02:29:00.005-05:00

Help! I've got a pound and a half of chicken breasts in my fridge... and not even one ounce of inspiration in regard to what to do with them! I have absolutely no idea what to cook for supper tonight!

I am in dire need of a yummy chicken recipe that will knock the socks off of my picky-eater-of-a-husband. (I've also got a lot of frozen broccoli in the freezer, so if your chicken recipe includes broccoli... all the better! If not... that's OK, too!)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! And if I make YOUR recipe... I'll blog about it and link back to your blog.

Thank you in advance!

xo,
C.C.

Getting Back on Track

2009-12-01T11:09:00.006-05:00

So... I haven't been doing very well the past few days. Thanksgiving really threw me off track, and I just feel like kicking myself. Actually... Thanksgiving did NOT throw me off track. I threw myself off track! And now I'm having a heck of a time getting back on track! Aaaggghhhhh!!!

Oh... why is the first day back on track always SO difficult???

I think I just need to take a deep breath and let go of this stressful feeling that has been consuming me the past few days! This is NOT the end of the world. I WILL get back on track. And I'll get back on track TODAY. I haven't gained back all of the 66.8 pounds that I've lost. There are still a few weeks left this year... and I can make them all count. I can start to make the best choices possible... starting TODAY! And that's what I'm going to do!

How have you all been doing? Do you feel as guilty as I do for eating way too much over the holiday? Or do you feel happy about making good choices? I hope you all fall into the latter category!

At any rate... let's all either GET back on track or STAY on track the rest of the week... and the rest of the year!

This Thanksgiving vs. Last Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T16:44:00.003-05:00

So... I wasn't perfect this Thanksgiving.

And... I wasn't perfect last Thanksgiving, either.

But... I think the numbers speak for themselves...

Thanksgiving 2008: 377 lbs.

Thanksgiving 2009: 334 lbs.

I weighed 44 pounds less this year!

Woo hoo!

Can't wait to see how the numbers stack up next Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T05:33:00.000-05:00

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Happy Thanksgiving!

xo,
C.C.

:)

'Twas the Day Before Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T13:06:00.006-05:00

Hi, everyone! How's your day going so far? Mine's been quite busy... baking, cleaning, planning... all in preparation for "Turkey Day" tomorrow! Only in my house... it won't be "Turkey Day." It will be "Chicken Day" because my husband does not like turkey. hehe

I just wanted to pop in and say "hi" and wish you all a happy day-before-Thanksgiving! (And hopefully you'll get a good chuckle from these comics, too!) :)

And I'm curious... how are you spending the day today?

If I Lived on Sesame Street

2009-11-23T22:14:00.007-05:00

If I lived on Sesame Street... I'd be Cookie Monster! And here's why:

I have been doing battle with a tin full of homemade sugar cookies that has been sitting on my kitchen counter for the past few days! And I just want to eat every single cookie in that tin! Aaaggghhhhh!!!

Some of you might be wondering why there is a tin of homemade sugar cookies sitting on my kitchen counter to begin with. Well... I made cookies on Saturday and gave most of them away to a needy family. But I kept a few for my husband. And they have been calling my name from inside that tin every time I step into the kitchen and walk past them!

And here's the conversation that's going on in my head every time I see that tin of cookies sitting on the counter:

"I want to eat those cookies. But I shouldn't eat those cookies. But I know that they would taste SO good. But... I know that if I eat them... I will not lose weight. They are not good for me. But everyone else eats cookies. Why can't I? Because I've already eaten more than enough cookies to last a lifetime. Eating so much crap my whole life is what made me fat to begin with. Do I want to be fat the rest of my life? Or do I want to lose this weight once and for all? What is more important to me? A cookie or being healthy and fit??? Being healthy and fit. So... I will not eat any of those cookies, darn it!"

Oh... this is SUCH a battle sometimes, isn't it? In fact... sometimes I think it's more of a BATTLE than a JOURNEY. Some days... it is so easy to stay on track with my eating. And other days... I have to fight ALL DAY LONG to not give in to temptation and pig out. Some days I don't even have much of an appetite... and other days I just feel like stuffing food in my pie hole the entire day!

Even when I'm doing well for a few weeks... it seems like I inevitably end up hitting a bump in the road somewhere along the way. But... I've learned that a bump doesn't have to stop me. A bump is just a bump. It's not a dead-end. I can move past that bump and continue to make progress down the road. A bump can delay my progress somewhat... but it does not have to stop it!

So now I'm telling myself... "A bump is just a bump. GET OVER IT!!!"

I haven't binged on cookies today. Today I won the battle. And I'm sure there will be more battles to fight in the future. And chances are I won't win all of them. But as long as I win MOST of them... I'll continue to make progress. No matter how many bumps I have to get over... I am NOT going to quit!

Yippee! A 2.5 Pound Gain!

2009-11-22T07:29:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read that correctly. I gained 2.5 pounds... and I am thrilled to death!

No... it's not what you think. Let me explain... hehe...

Yesterday I challenged myself to use the 5 lb. hand weights while doing the Leslie Sansone WATP 2-mile video instead of using the 2.5 lb. hand weights which I normally use. And... I did it! I was able to complete the entire workout using the 5 lb. hand weights! Woo hoo!

I was definitely sweating more than usual when the workout was finished, and I felt like I had gotten a much more intense workout with the 5 lb. weights than the 2.5 lb. weights. Woo hoo! Yay for me!

There is NO turning back now!!!

The Great Pumpkin Peril of 2009, Plus a Recipe

2009-11-20T11:57:00.005-05:00

Egads! Have you heard THIS???

Apparently, the 2009 pumpkin crop has been spoiling in the fields due to an over-abundance of rain this year. And there will most likely be a shortage of pumpkin not only over the holidays... but until after next year's harvest!

Holy crap. This has really upset me... because just last week I started to eat 1/2 c. pumpkin with 2 pinches of sugar, a T. of skim milk, and a sprinkling of cinnamon as a snack! I zap it in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it... and I've somehow convinced myself that it tastes just as yummy as good, old-fashioned pumpkin pie.

But now... the enjoyment of my precious pumpkin may be postponed until next year??? Aaaggghhhh!!!

I don't know about you... but I'm going to be heading to Walmart ASAP to stock up! And if I DO actually manage to find some pumpkin... here's a yummy-looking recipe that I just might make for Thanksgiving as a healthier alternative to pumpkin pie:

Pumpkin Angel Food Cake with Creamy Ginger Filling

It's only 180 calories and has 0 g fat per serving. Sounds like a wiser choice to me! :)

Much Discipline = Much Progress

2009-11-19T10:19:00.007-05:00

I mentioned recently that I needed to practice more discipline in my effort to lose weight. So I adopted a new, healthier eating plan last Thursday, and recommitted to exercising at least 3 times a week. And... I'm so happy to share that since I've become much more disciplined... I have seen much more progress!

I stepped on the scale this morning to see what a week of discipline could do for me... and I weighed in at 334 pounds! Woo hoo! That is DEFINITELY progress! I've lost 66.8 pounds so far... and I am more optimistic than ever that I will lose the remaining 133.2 lbs. and reach my goal of losing 200 pounds!

And I thought it was so appropriate that on Sunday, while listening to the radio, I heard the following statement about discipline:

"Desire without discipline is just a dream." Pastor Paul Sheppard

That statement has remained with me all week, and I have a feeling it's going to remain with me the rest of my journey to lose 200 pounds... and beyond... because it's a statement that can be applied to not only weight loss... but to every area of one's life.

So... let's begin to consistently practice more DISCIPLINE in our lives... because if we do... we are definitely going to see more PROGRESS! :)

Droppin' It Like It's Hot

2009-11-17T09:29:00.009-05:00

Last week, I decided it was time to change my eating plan and become more disciplined the remainder of the year. I decided that I actually wanted to LOSE weight through the holiday season instead of GAIN weight through the holiday season like last year. I did not want a repeat of November-December 2008, so I decided that I needed an immediate eating plan makeover.

So on Thursday of last week, I switched over to my new and improved eating plan. And I actually started to feel like my body was losing weight again! I wanted to wait until this Thursday to weigh in and see how much progress I had made, but curiosity got the best of me and I took a sneak peek at the scale yesterday. And for a second, when I looked at the number on the scale, I was in shock!

I've lost 5 pounds since last Thursday! I am down to 335.8 pounds! That's a 65 lb. total loss since February 9th! It's also the least I've weighed since starting this blog a little over 2 years ago. To say that I am thrilled beyond words is the understatement of the century! Woo hoo!

And it's really weird, but... I can see and feel more of a difference in my body having dropped these last 5 pounds than I could see and feel having lost the previous 60 pounds. It's like suddenly... ALL of my clothing is feeling loose on me. And suddenly I can actually SEE the difference when I look in the mirror. I just feel like I've received a different body in the past few days, even though I've been losing weight for several months now. Has anyone else ever experienced this strange phenomenon... or am I the only weirdo here in Blogland? hehe

So... I bet you're curious. What eating plan have I adopted? What foods am I actually eating? Well... let me tell you.

I'm not going to mention the name of a specific plan here on my blog, because I realize that different plans work for different people. And this might not work for you, but it's working for me. All I'm going to say is that I am following a slightly more lenient version of an eating plan which most of you have probably seen advertised on TV at some time or another.

I am not starving myself. I am eating 3 small, well-balanced meals and 3 small, well-balanced snacks per day. And I am eating natural, unprocessed foods that supposedly will cause my metabolism to kick into high gear. And... so far... it really seems to be working. I'm not hungry at all, and the weight is coming off. I have renewed hope that I really will lose all the weight that I need to lose and be under 200 pounds some day. And that is a good thing!

Some of the foods that I've been eating include the following:

Fruits: blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, peaches, apples
Veggies: all non-starchy veggies, raw or steamed
Protein: chicken breast, turkey breast, lean turkey bacon, lean turkey sausage, lean ground beef, turkey breast lunch meat, eggs, lean sirloin steak, fish
Carbs: oatmeal, potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, rice, bananas, pumpkin

There are other foods that I'm "allowed" to eat on this plan, but these are the ones that I actually like. I'm also taking a multi-vitamin, fish oil capsules, and a calcium supplement every day, as I have done for several years now. Plus... I drink lots of water.

I'm going to follow this plan the rest of the year, and possibly beyond that. And I totally expect to have fantastic results to share with all of you by December 31st! My next official weigh-in will be on December 9th, and I'm already excited about what the scale will say! Woo hoo!

I hope you're all having a great day! Stay strong, do the best that you can each day, and let's spend the rest of this year losing weight and getting healthy!

(PS: It is not my intention to endorse any particular weight loss plan over any other. I am just telling you what is currently working for me. I am neither a nutritionist nor a doctor. So... before you start ANY weight loss plan... make sure you visit your physician to get his/her approval!)

Why I'm Recommitting to Exercise this Week

2009-11-16T06:30:00.003-05:00

Yesterday hubby and I went to the movies. And we sat at the top level of chairs. And, of course, we had to walk up quite a few steps to get there. When we reached the top and finally sat down, I was actually quite winded. Now, I wasn't completely out of breath or anything... but I WAS breathing harder than I normally do.

And... I just sat there and thought... "This should not be. THIS SHOULD NOT BE!"

So... perhaps that was the wake up call that I needed to recommit to exercise this week. In fact... it WAS the wake up call that I needed to recommit to exercise this week! So, Leslie Sansone... here I come!

And on a more positive note... I did not eat any popcorn or any other snackies while we were watching the movie. Yay!

Porcupine Meatballs Gone Wild

2009-11-14T13:15:00.003-05:00

So... yesterday I was hoping to be able to share a new recipe with you. I had found a recipe for Porcupine Meatballs that looked pretty yummy, and I decided to make them on Thursday. Alas... they did not turn out well... hence no recipe was posted here on Friday.

Instead... I come to you today asking...

Does anybody have a recipe for really yummy and figure-friendly Porcupine Meatballs?

If you do... I'd love to have it!

And today I'm making a new chicken recipe. If all goes well... I'll share the recipe with all of you next Friday. It's a crock pot recipe... and it smells really good. So hopefully it will taste as good as it smells! hehe

I hope you're all having a great weekend! And thanks in advance for any Porcupine Meatball recipes that come my way!

xo,
C.C.

PS: For those of you who have never heard of Porcupine Meatballs, please do not be alarmed. They are not made with porcupine meat. hehe They are made with ground beef, and rice in the meatballs is supposed to resemble porcupine quills. hehe

The Mystery of the Vanishing Cake: Conclusion

2009-11-12T14:38:00.007-05:00

So... if you've read this and this, you know that I was the culprit responsible for consuming the majority of a chocolate cake that I recently made. Confession really WAS good for the soul... because most of the comments on those two posts let me know that I am not the only one who does crazy stuff like eating 95% of a chocolate cake in 2 days and concealing that fact from the rest of the household by deception. You let me know that I am NOT alone in this weight loss struggle... because we ALL struggle from time to time. At least most of us do. So you made me feel human again... and not like a freak... and for that I thank you!

I've realized that cake is not my friend. Sometimes I can eat a tiny slice here and there in moderation... but sometimes I can't. Sometimes I want to consume an entire cake by myself... and I do. I'm not proud of that by any means. And I'm sure I'll eat cake in the future. But for now... and for the rest of the year... I vow that not even a CRUMB of cake will pass my lips!

It's no surprise to me that the scale did not show a loss when I weighed in on November 9th. And you know why it didn't? Sure... the cake had A LOT to do with that... but there were other reasons, too. And I'm going to once again confess what was going down my pie hole at various times between October 9th and November 9th.

Brace yourselves. This is going to be ugly. hehe

Here goes...

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
2. Hershey's Kisses
3. Almond Joys
4. Pizza - most of a pie at one sitting!
5. General Tso's chicken and Crab Rangoon
6. 6 cream-filled donuts in 2 days
7. A pack of animal crackers in a day
8. Pumpkin Pie

Yep... my eating was out of control A LOT in the past month. But... I did manage to stay on track SOME of time. And I did manage to exercise a few times. But I'm really just thankful that I didn't gain 20 pounds.

I think part of my problem is that I did not have internet service most of that month, and I did not have the support of all of you to keep me going and to help get me back on track when I was struggling so much. You all are priceless... and I truly appreciate every one of you! I hope you know that!

At any rate... I am determined to make the rest of this year count. I'll be sharing more about my plan to stay on track the rest of the year very soon.

And to those of you who have asked about a "Chubby Chick's Christmas Challenge", I'm sorry to say that I won't be doing that this year. I probably would have started one in October, but since I didn't have internet service... it was impossible. Sorry about that... and thanks to all who participated last year and who wanted to do it again this year.

OK... I'm off to try a new recipe for supper now! If it's good... I'll be sharing it with all of you tomorrow!

Mwa!

:)

Welcome Back to the 21st Century!

2009-11-10T15:10:00.003-05:00

Woo hoo! I am thrilled to report that I once again have reliable internet service and I have re-entered the 21st Century! hehe And you know what that means? It means that I will be able to get back to regular blogging and will be able to keep in touch with all of you! I am SO happy about that!

Here's a sneak peek of some of the topics that I'm planning to blog about in the coming days...

1. The conclusion to "The Mystery of the Vanishing Cake"

2. My plan to make it through the holidays and actually LOSE weight this year

3. My 9-month weigh-in results from this past Monday, November 9th

4. The strange weight-loss phenomenon that has bit me in the butt more times than I can remember

5. A new recipe that I plan to try this week

And... just for the heck of it... what would YOU like to have me blog about? Is there anything in particular that any of you want to know that I've never revealed here before? Just let me know... and I'll do my best to accomodate your request! Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Oh... I am just SO happy to be back! See you all real soon! :)

The Mystery of the Vanishing Cake: Part Two

2009-11-06T11:11:00.000-05:00

"He asked for a piece of cake Monday night after supper...

and I told him that I got rid of it so it wouldn’t tempt me anymore. I wanted him to think that I had put it down the garbage disposal. And that’s what he thought I meant. But... that was NOT what happened. I ate it. THAT is how I got rid of it. I got rid of it by eating it! I felt bad that I had deceived him... and that I had not kept any of the cake for him when I knew that he liked it. And I KNEW that he would want a piece of it Monday night. But I ate it anyway. I felt like such a big, fat, selfish pig."

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Mystery of the Vanishing Cake: Part One

2009-11-04T10:48:00.003-05:00

I don't know about you... but I love a good mystery! I'm a Nancy Drew fan from way back. And Agatha Christie has always been one of my favorite authors. And in the spirit of a good mystery thriller... I'm going to share a few excerpts from an email that I wrote to a very close friend recently. Today I will share Part One of the email, and Part Two will follow later in the week.

But first... let me give you an update on my internet availability status...

I still don't have internet in my home, and am currently writing this post outdoors. And, let me tell ya... it's kind of hard to view the computer screen because the sun is shining so brightly right now! lol So... I must make this little internet date short and get back to my house ASAP. But... I do hope to have my own internet service within the next week... and I PROMISE to get back to regular blogging right away!

And now... on to Part One of "The Mystery of the Vanishing Cake!"

I did very poorly with my eating this past week. It’s like I was totally out of control. I was eating everything in sight, and I made a chocolate cake “for my husband.” Ha! I ended up eating 90% of it myself. At least it was just cake, and not icing. I didn’t frost it because my husband doesn’t like frosting on his cakes. What is wrong with him??? Lol To me... a cake just isn’t cake without frosting. Anyway, I made the cake last Friday, and by Monday it was gone. My husband only had 2 or 3 pieces of it. I ate the rest. I actually hid that fact from him. I am SO bad. He asked for a piece of cake Monday night after supper..."

TO BE CONTINUED....
"

Peek-A-Boo!

2009-10-27T12:16:00.003-04:00

Pssst! It’s me... the girl who hasn’t had internet service for the past 19 days! And, yes... it is driving me nuts!!!

I am SO sorry that I have not been able to blog... especially since I was planning to post my weigh-in results on Friday, October 9th! I am SO sorry that I was unable to post then... and that I have been unable to post ever since!

How have you all been doing? I miss you all SO much! And I am afraid that I will never be able to catch up with everything that has been happening here in Blogland! I am feeling quite frustrated, to say the least!

That’s the bad news. And the even WORSE news is that I STILL do not have internet access available to me in my home... and I do not know when I will be able to get online again. Aaaaggghhhhh!!!

And now... the good news! When I weighed in on October 9th, I weighed 338.8... which was the lowest I have weighed since starting this blog! Woo hoo! As of October 9th, I have officially lost 62 pounds! My next weigh-in will be November 9th, and hopefully I will have lost a few more pounds by then.

That being said... I have really been struggling the past week. I’ve been feeling kind of down-in-the-dumps and stressed out... and, unfortunately, I have once again found solace, albeit artificial solace, in food. I did manage to stay on track yesterday, and am feeling confident that I will be able to keep the momentum going today, the rest of the month, and hopefully the rest of the year!
This journey has been really bumpy for me so far. I have had a lot of ups... and a lot of downs... in every respect. But... I’m still here... and I’m still fighting to lose this weight once and for all. Some weeks I’ve gained, some weeks I’ve lost. But I haven’t given up. And that is the one thing that has allowed me to lose 62 pounds in the past 8 months. Sure, I could have lost more than that if I had been able to stay on track every single day. But... I also could have gained that and more. But I didn’t. So that is definitely something to be thankful for.

This isn’t easy. And some days are harder than others. And some days I just feel like a big, fat slob. Some days I hate my butt. (Actually... MOST days I hate my butt. Hehe) Some days I feel like throwing in the towel. Some days I feel like I will never lose the rest of this weight. Some days I feel completely overwhelmed and weary and just want to scream. And if you’ve ever felt any of those things... I just want you to know that you are not alone. I am fighting this fight on a daily basis... and I know what you are going through. I know how you are feeling. And I just want to say... HANG IN THERE. Do NOT give up. You CAN do this... and I believe that you WILL.

I love you guys, and I miss you all... and I do hope that I can get online again real soon. I will certainly try my best to do just that. And in the meantime... I’ll be sending good thoughts and best wishes your way!

xo,
C.C.

PS: I only had time to quickly glance at my email, and did notice that several of you had emailed me. I will respond to the emails as soon as I can, but do not have time to do that today. But thank you for writing! :)

Oh, Happy Day!

2009-10-08T14:15:00.008-04:00

While I was standing at the stove this morning making breakfast, my husband walked into the kitchen and said something that made me want to hop, skip, and jump across the kitchen floor. I didn't do that... but I probably should have... because it would have burned a few calories. hehe

He walked up to me and said, "You're really losing weight. It looks like the pounds are just melting off of you. Your butt's even shrinking."

The last sentence, "Your butt's even shrinking," is totally hilarious and made me practically laugh my butt off... which, again... would have been a good thing... hehe. But it was also music to my ears... because I am one of those pear-shaped girls whose butt happens to be the bane of their existence. So... I was highly pleased this morning when my hubby noticed that there was a little less "junk" in my "trunk!"

Mind you... my husband has RARELY commented on my weight loss up to this point. And it just makes me laugh when I think that it has taken 8 months of hard work and perseverance, and a loss of 57.2 lbs. to date, for him to notice that the pounds are SUDDENLY "melting off of me." Yeah, right. I felt like asking him, "Uh... where have you been for the past 8 months???" lol

Anyway... it is just amazing how good an encouraging word can make a person feel. Every time I think about what he said... I have to smile. And knowing that my hard work really is starting to show is a great source of motivation to continue "journeying to lose 200 pounds."

I'll be weighing in tomorrow, and I'll find out exactly how much progress I've made in the past few weeks. Hopefully my husband is right and the pounds really have been "melting" off of me! We shall see! :)

Looking Forward to Friday

2009-10-06T09:51:00.006-04:00

Hey, everyone! I'm still here! And I'm actually managing to get in a post today for the Tuesday Healthy You Challenge update! Woo hoo!

I'm still doing well with my eating, and I'll be weighing in this Friday, October 9th. That will be the 8-month mark for "getting back on track" this year. I honestly can't believe that I've lost 55 pounds so far this year. I am SO happy about that! And I'm looking forward to having a good weigh-in on Friday. (By "good," I mean anything less than what I weighed at my last weigh-in on August 19th. hehe) Who knows? Maybe I will have hit the 60-lbs. lost mark by then. That would be great!

So... I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Wish me luck... and be sure to check back sometime Friday!

Have a great week, everyone! :)

xo,
C.C.

Seasons of Change

2009-10-02T18:42:00.006-04:00

Pssst! I just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to everyone! I hope you're all doing well!

I'm sorry I'm still MIA and haven't been able to get back to regular blogging yet... but I just wanted to give you an update. I'm still slowly, slowly, slowly losing weight... and I'm still in the middle of a very stressful situation that is taking up all of my time and energy right now. It's a season of change... and I know that this, too, shall pass.

And until then... please know that I am thinking of all of you and sending lots of well-wishes your way!

xo,
C.C.

Happy Friday!

2009-09-25T09:56:00.006-04:00

I hope you all are having a wonderful Friday!

I've been scarce around here this past week... and I do apologize. My husband and I are dealing with an unexpected situation this week, and that has been requiring all of my time and attention. Hopefully things will work out quickly and I'll get back to regular blogging soon. In the meantime, send some good thoughts and prayers my way, and I'll pop online to blog when I can.

The good news is... I am "on plan" and have been seeing the number on the scale slowly-but-surely move down. Since things are so hectic right now, I am planning to report my next weigh-in on October 9th, which will be exactly 8 months since getting back on track.

I hope you are all doing well... and I'm wishing you nothing but the best!

xo,
C.C.

Kiss the Cook Friday

2009-09-18T15:54:00.005-04:00

Wow! I haven't posted a "Kiss the Cook Friday" recipe since July 31st when I shared the yummy recipe for Southwestern Black Bean Salad! Oops! Sorry about that!

To make up for my lapse in posting recipes, I'm going to share one of my all-time favorites today. Easy, Cheesey, Spinach-y Baked Ziti!

I came up with this recipe a few weeks ago when I was in the mood for some yummy yet nutritious Italian food. And... this has easily become one of my favorite figure-friendly meals.

I'm only cooking for 2 people, and the recipe I'm sharing makes 4 servings. If you're cooking for a family, go ahead and double or even triple this recipe. If you have leftovers... they won't last long anyway! And to round out the meal... go ahead and serve a small side salad with this pasta dish. Yum!

Easy, Cheesey, Spinach-y Baked Ziti

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Ingredients:
6.5 oz. (dry) whole wheat ziti or pasta of your choice
1 1/4 cups fresh grated parmesan cheese
1 cup part-skim shredded mozzarella cheese
1 1/4 cups fat free cottage cheese
1 jar Newman's Own spaghetti sauce (or any sauce that is about 70 calories per 1/2 cup serving)
3 cups fresh spinach, chopped and added to pasta while cooking
1 T. minced garlic (I use minced garlic from a jar.)
1 T. dried parsley

Cook ziti according to package instructions. Add fresh spinach to boiling water a few minutes before pasta is thoroughly cooked. Drain.

Put drained pasta/spinach in a large bowl. Add all remaining ingredients EXCEPT the spaghetti sauce. Mix well.

Spray a casserole dish with cooking spray.

Layer the pasta mixture and spaghetti sauce in casserole dish as follows:

1. 1/2 of pasta mixture
2. 1/2 of spaghetti sauce
3. 1/2 of pasta mixture
4. 1/2 of spaghetti sauce

Bake uncovered in 350 degree F oven for approximately 45 minutes or until cheese is thoroughly melted. 5 minutes before removing from oven, sprinkle a tiny bit of shredded mozzarella cheese over the top of casserole.

Nutrition Information:

1/4 of recipe=1 serving

474 Calories per serving

Don't Lose What You've Gained

2009-09-17T06:29:00.007-04:00

So... I've mentioned that I've been struggling a bit lately. I've been dealing with some stress, I didn't have internet for a few weeks and couldn't blog or use my Fitday account to log my calories, and I kind of slacked off with the healthy eating.

And my husband noticed. He noticed last Wednesday... when I was sitting on the recliner eating my second donut of the day. He didn't say much, but what he did say was quite profound.

Husband: You better be careful. You don't want to LOSE all that you've GAINED.

Me: What??? You mean I don't want to GAIN back all the weight that I've LOST.

Husband: Nooooooo. I mean you don't want to LOSE all that you've GAINED.

Holy Shnikies, Batman! Am I married to the wisest man on the face of the earth or what??? Ummm... probably not... hehe... but he's GOT to be in the top 10%!

Honestly... when he repeated what he first told me... and I allowed it to register in my brain EXACTLY what he was saying... I was dumbfounded. Why hadn't I ever thought of that???

This weight loss journey is NOT just about losing! It is about gaining as well! It's about gaining a new and improved body and life! It's about gaining health and mobility! It's about gaining self-esteem and confidence! The list could go on and on and on!

This past week, I've really pondered what my husband told me. And here are just a few of the things that I have GAINED while LOSING weight these past few months:

1. It's easier to get in and out of the shower and perform household chores.
2. My body doesn't ache when I get up in the morning.
3. I can buckle the seat belt in the car now.
4. I fit into some of my smaller clothing.
5. I actually enjoy going out to eat every now and then.
6. I get out of the house more in general.
7. I'm gaining self-discipline.
8. My feet don't swell anymore.
9. It's easier to walk up steps.
10. I have more energy.

You know what? My husband was right. I do NOT want to LOSE what I have GAINED!

I have GAINED so much already... and I know that I will GAIN even more as I continue to LOSE weight. And so will you! So... let's stop focusing so much on what the scale says we're LOSING... and let's start focusing on what we know we're GAINING!

How much have you GAINED lately?

"The Biggest Loser" 3 Words or Phrases Game

2009-09-16T07:30:00.001-04:00

Hey! Remember yesterday's "catch up game?" I do! You guys left clever, entertaining, and informative comments... and I enjoyed reading every single one of them! And I thought it would be fun to do the same thing today... with the topic being last night's episode of "The Biggest Loser."

If you want to get more specific with the topic, say... Alison's dress or something... just write that before you share your 3 words/phrases. Here's an example:

Alison's Dress: Hot! Hot! Hot!

Or...

Alexandra: Annoying. Cry-baby. Buh-bye.

OK. That was kind of harsh... hehe... so I'll do another one...

Alexandra: Too bad. So sad. Looks fab!

How about...

Jillian: Potty mouth. Scary. Crazy!

Hmmm... that was kind of harsh, too. But... Jillian would probably like that... so I'm leaving it at that. hehe

Anyway... I think you get the picture... especially if you played along yesterday. So... let's get this party started! Who's going to be first???

:)

Playing "Catch Up"

2009-09-15T07:30:00.000-04:00

You know, ever since I had some internet problems in August and was offline for a few weeks, I have been having the hardest time catching up with all of you! There are currently 1,000+ posts to read in my Google Reader account! Holy shnikies, people! I will never be able to read all those posts and get caught up with all of you! Unless, of course, you'd like to play a game of "catch up" with me.

Here's all you have to do. Simply leave a comment on this post. And the comment has to be either 3 words or 3 short phrases that reveal how you've been doing the past few weeks. That's all! It couldn't be more simple!

And, by the way... I got this idea when I was listening to a radio show the other day. The hosts were having callers phone in and describe their weekends using only 3 words or 3 short phrases. The caller that really made me chuckle shared this: "Cell phone. Four-year-old. Fish bowl." I think you get the picture. lol

OK... I'll get us started. My 3 words/3 phrases are...

"Struggling. Overcoming. Persevering."

And now... what about you? What are YOUR 3 words/phrases to describe how you've been doing the past few weeks?

Struggling or Getting Stronger?

2009-09-14T12:34:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you... but I am SO ready to kick some major weight loss butt the rest of this year! I'm inching closer and closer to 300 pounds... and I cannot wait until I cross over into the 200's! I haven't seen anything on my scale with a "2" in front of it since 1999. That is 10 freaking years, people! And that is WAY too long, in my opinion.

It would be nice if I could get under 300 pounds this year, but even if that doesn't happen, I KNOW that it will happen next year. And for now... I'm just going to continue to make the best choices I can every day.

To be perfectly honest, I've been struggling a bit lately. But struggling is not synonymous with "failing." Struggling is a part of life. And overcoming our struggles only makes us stronger and more appreciative in the long run. So here's to overcoming... and persevering! And... here's to a great rest-of-the-year for all of us!

xo,
C.C.

I Was Abducted By Aliens

2009-09-04T21:28:00.011-04:00

Just kidding! hehe

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to pop in and tell you that today is the first day in almost 2 weeks that I have had internet service! I am SO sorry that I disappeared so unexpectedly! And I just want to thank everyone who emailed me and left comments wondering about how I was doing and where I was hiding. I truly appreciate your concern... and I've missed you all like crazy!

I'll be back in a day or two to give you a weight loss update. And I look forward to getting back to regular blogging and catching up with all of you!

Have a great weekend!

xo,
Chubby Chick

Wishes and Wednesday Weigh In - Week 27

2009-08-19T14:02:00.007-04:00

Wishing I didn't feel so mopey today...

Wishing I was skinny already...

Wishing I was on vacation...

Wishing I had a loss to report this week...

Wishing, wishing, wishing...

Last Week: 343.6 lbs.
This Week: 343.6 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 0
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 57.2 lbs.

Wishing I had exercised more last week...

Wishing the upstairs neighbors (I live in a condo) weren't so noisy...

Wishing I had gotten more sleep last night...

Wishing I wasn't feeling so grumpy today... hehe...

Wishing, wishing, wishing...

What are you wishing for today?

A "Lovely" Way to Start the Week!

2009-08-17T11:49:00.007-04:00

I just found out that the lovely Hollie has given me "The Lovely Blog Award!" Thanks, Hollie! I appreciate your kindness so much... and your weight loss progress is phenomenal! Keep up the good work, girl!

Here are the rules for the award:

Acknowledge the giver
Pass the award to 15 other blogs you love

So... here are the recipients I've chosen to receive this award:

1. Cat
2. Hanlie
3. Kimberly
4. Antgirl
5. Lisa
6. Liska
7. Spunkysuzi
8. Heather
9. Annette
10. Diana
11. Cammy
12. H.K.
13. Jules
14. Sonya
15. Val

Wow! That list took awhile to complete! lol And... I wish I didn't have to stop at 15... because I would love to give this award to all of my blog buddies! Even if you're not on the list... I just want you to know that I love all of you and I could NOT be doing this without your support and encouragement! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

xo,
C.C.

Update: And thanks to Shmologna, too! :)

My Favorite Not-So-Guilty Pleasure

2009-08-15T12:57:00.006-04:00

I am NOT on a diet. I have changed my life over the past 6 months. And throughout that time... I have done everything possible to make this new lifestyle change NOT feel like a diet. Because you know what a "diet" is. It's DIE with a T.

And one of the things I've enjoyed doing is creating healthier versions of favorite recipes. And I've experimented with concocting healthy substitutions for not-so-healthy treats.

For instance... I've always loved chocolate. And I always will. In the past, I would make brownies and eat an entire pan in two days. I would make chocolate cake, and it would be gone in 3 days. A gallon of chocolate ice-cream? It would be gone in 3 days. Hershey's Kisses or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? A large bag would last a week at most. No-Bake Cookies? They would last 2 days max.

So... how does one who loves chocolate incorporate it into their new, healthy lifestyle? I'm sure there are many ways... and I'd love to hear yours. But here's what I like to do...

Almost every day... I eat fat-free vanilla yogurt with fruit. But sometimes I'm in the mood for something chocolatey. So I mix 1 t. of Hershey's Unsweetened Baking Cocoa into 1/2 cup of fat-free vanilla yogurt. It is SO yummy... and is especially good with 1/2 cup of frozen cherries that have been thawed. Sometimes I even sprinkle 1/2 T. of mini-semi-sweet chocolate chips on top. And this entire satisfying snack comes in at only around 170 calories!

So... you can see that by simply making healthier choices... one does not have to feel deprived or like they're on a "diet."

What's your favorite not-so-guilty pleasure?

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 26

2009-08-12T13:08:00.006-04:00

Wow! I cannot believe that today marks my 26th week of being "on plan!" 26 weeks! That is 6 months... half a year! And... to be perfectly honest... the time just FLEW by.

Six months ago... something "clicked" with me in regard to weight loss. And it was something very bad that caused that "click" to happen. I got on my scale and saw an "ERR" message staring me in the face. My scale went up to 400 pounds... and... for the first time in my life... I was weighing in at over 400 pounds.

And in that shockingly horrible moment... I KNEW that I had to do something to lose weight once and for all... or I would easily weigh over 450 pounds in a matter of months. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click!

So... on February 9, 2009... I totally committed to losing weight. I totally committed to changing my life. And... most importantly... I totally committed to keep going no matter what. I realized that this is a journey that I must NEVER quit. And no matter how long it takes me to lose this weight... I will NOT give up.

The title of my blog really says it all... "Journeying to Lose 200 Pounds... The Triumph of Perseverance." Because perseverance really is the ultimate force that will lead me to my ultimate victory. I don't know how long it will take me to get to 200 pounds... but I do know this: I WILL persevere... and I WILL get there.

And on this 26th weigh-in, I am SO happy to report another loss! Here's how the numbers stack up this week:

Last Week: 346.4 lbs.
This Week: 343.6 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 2.8
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 57.2 lbs.

57.2 lbs. in 26 weeks. That's an average of 2.2 lbs. a week! And I am VERY happy with that! And I can't wait until my Week 52 Weigh-In! I wonder how much I will have off by then!

Hey... how much do YOU think I will have lost by my Week 52 Weigh-In??? Let's have a little contest! Let me know your answer... and in 26 weeks I'll announce the winner! (And I'll probably throw in a little prize as well... as long as the winner is in the continental US.)

I hope you're all having a wonderful week! And... no matter how much weight you have to lose... do NOT give up! You CAN do this! Continue to persevere... and... as always... just take it one day at a time and do the best that you can each day! The weight WILL come off! :)

And... just in case you've never seen the cute little "Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon which inspired my blog title... please scroll down to the bottom of the page. You'll be glad you did! :)

xo,
C.C.

An Amazing Accomplishment!

2009-08-06T23:44:00.005-04:00

I don't know how many of you know Sean, but... along with being one of the kindest and most encouraging blog buddies out there... he has just accomplished the incredible feat of losing 201 pounds! Make sure you stop by his amazing blog and congratulate him ASAP!

Congratulations, Sean! You totally rock! :)

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 25

2009-08-05T10:43:00.006-04:00

Here it is... 25 weeks after fully committing to a healthy lifestyle... and I have another great loss to report! Here's how the numbers stack up:

Last Week: 349.8 lbs.
This Week: 346.4 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 3.4
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 54.4 lbs.

Honestly... I was a bit shocked when I saw a 3.4 lb. loss this week. That's a big number for me! But I can contribute it to two changes I've made in my weight loss plan recently.

About two weeks ago, I tweaked my plan because my progress seemed to be slowing down a bit this summer. Previously, I was eating between 1,800 and 2,000 calories a day. And most days... that number was closer to 2,000 than 1,800. That seemed to be working for the first few months... but I decided to experiment a bit, and I reduced that amount to between 1,700 and 1,800 calories a day.

Another change I've made is that I've been getting in a lot more exercise than usual. Before, I would exercise 2 or 3 times a week. Some weeks I didn't exercise at all. (I hate to admit that... but it's true.) But it seemed like as long as I ate healthy and stuck to my food plan... I still lost weight. However, as I said, my weight loss did seem to slow a bit recently... especially in June when I only lost 2.8 pounds the entire month.

So... I've been exercising about 5 days a week lately. And on most days I'm exercising more than once a day. And this increase in exercise, combined with the calorie reduction, has definitely given me a boost in the weight loss department.

So, for now... I'm going to continue eating between 1,700 and 1,800 calories a day, and I'm going to continue getting in as much exercise as possible each week. Seems like a winning combination to me!

But... no matter what your weight loss plan... always remember to just take it one day at a time and do the best that you can each day!

That is a winning strategy that we can ALL benefit from! :)

Healthy You Challenge Week 31 Check In

2009-08-04T16:04:00.003-04:00

I'm happy to report that things are going well, and I officially hit the "50 lbs. lost" mark last Wednesday! Actually... I've lost 51 pounds since Feb. 9th... and my plan is to continue what I've been doing in the months ahead.

My next weigh-in is tomorrow, and I'm hoping for a loss. Keep your fingers crossed for me! :)

The Woman I'd Like to Be

2009-08-03T10:37:00.001-04:00

The woman I'd like to be is fit, toned, strong, and full of energy. The woman I'd like to be is fearless, confident, and in control.

I saw a woman like that about a year ago. She was jogging down the street... and she truly was a sight to behold.

She wasn't the average jogger that we all see on any given day... in any given city. She stood out from the crowd like a beautiful rose among a vast sea of prickly thorns. Her posture... the way she held her head and carried her body... was admirable to say the least.

The spring in her step as she jogged portrayed an energy that is rarely seen. The speed she exhibited as she ran reminded me of a sleek gazelle effortlessly bounding over the plains of Africa. With every stride she was a breathtaking vision of health, strength, and fitness!

Obviously, she was not in the least bit overweight. But she was not thin... at least according to Hollywood's standards. She had meat on her bones. She was muscular... but not so muscular that she no longer appeared feminine. She was firm and toned. She was strong and powerful. She was confident and in control.

The image of this woman has stayed with me for over a year. I can picture her in my mind as if I first saw her yesterday. She doesn't know it... but she made an impact on my life that day. She gave me something to work towards... something for which to strive.

With hard work and commitment... I am striving to become more fit and healthy than I've ever been before. I'm working towards that vision each day. I am making progress. I'm moving in the right direction.

And some day... I WILL be the woman that I've always wanted to be. I may not look exactly like the lovely woman I described... but that's OK. Knowing that I will be the best ME that I can be is all that really matters. Honestly... what more could a woman ask for?

(PS: What's your vision of the ideal YOU?)

Thoughts and Prayers for a Fellow Blogger

2009-08-02T10:54:00.003-04:00

Please visit Jen's blog sometime today. She and her family have suffered a tragedy this weekend... and I'm sure they would appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

xo,
C.C.

Kiss the Cook Friday

2009-07-31T13:30:00.007-04:00

I'm so excited! Today I am sharing a recipe that Gina so graciously granted permission for me to post on my blog! It's a recipe that I found on her wonderful blog, Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes. I made it this past Wednesday... and I absolutely LOVE IT! And I loved it SO much that I could NOT keep this recipe to myself! As soon as I tasted it... I KNEW that I had to share it with all of you!

All of the recipes on her blog look SO tasty and nutritious! And she provides the calories per serving and WW points values, too. (Thanks, Gina!)

The recipe I'm sharing today, as posted on Gina's blog, is Southwestern Black Bean Salad. (I'm posting it here, but if you'd like to see a fantastic photo of this recipe, be sure to check out the link!)

"This colorful, high fiber, high protein salad makes a great side dish, appetizer served with chips, or lunch served with fresh tortillas. This salad is low in saturated fat and loaded with antioxidants. A perfect summer side dish for grilled meat, fish or chicken.

Southwestern Black Bean Salad
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 12 • Size: 1/2 cup • Prep Time: 10 minutes • Calories: 106 • Points: 2.5 ww points

1 15.5 oz can black beans, rinsed and drained
9 oz frozen corn, thawed
1 tomato, chopped
1 small hass avocado, diced
1/4 cup red onion, chopped
1 scallion, chopped
1 lime, juice of
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp cilantro
salt and fresh pepper

Combine beans, corn, tomato, onion, scallion, cilantro, salt and pepper. Mix with lime juice and olive oil. Marinate in the refrigerator 30 minutes. Add avocado before serving. "

Mmmm! This is the perfect snack when served with whole-grain tortilla chips and a low-fat string cheese. That's how I've been eating it the past few days. I just can't get enough of this stuff! It would be great to serve at a party or picnic. I HIGHLY recommend that you try this. Your taste buds will thank you!

And be sure to check out Gina's blog for even more tasty and nutritious recipes! (Thanks again, Gina!)

(PS: I didn't have scallions or fresh cilantro on hand... so I used a shallot and 2 t. dried cilantro instead. And... it was fabulous! Also... if you will be the only one in your household eating this, consider only making half of the recipe at a time. I think that's what I'll do next time I make it.)

10 Minute Exercise Challenge

2009-07-30T12:16:00.006-04:00

You know what? I turn into a total couch potato every night after supper. I do my regular workouts during the day, but in the evenings... I turn into a total slug. And here's why...

In the evening... my husband is finally home from work. He's tired... and likes to spend the night chilling in front of the TV. (Typical man, eh? hehe) And... I like to be with him all night because he is so freaking adorable. So... what do I do? I sit on my butt and vegetate right alongside him. Yeah... it's good for my marriage... but not so good for my waistline!

So... I have decided to challenge myself to get in at least 10 minutes of physical activity after supper every night. And for me... it's going to be 10 minutes on the stationary bike. If I can manage to bike 10 minutes each night... it will add up to over an hour of exercise each week... which will add up to over 4 hours of exercise each month!

Wow! Four extra hours of exercise each month... simply by adding 10 minutes of exercise to my routine each night! I am SO going to do this!

And what about you? Could YOU somehow work in 10 minutes of extra exercise each day or night? I bet you could! In fact... consider this an official challenge! Let me know if you're up to the challenge... and let me know what your plan is! I bet just making this one little change is going to benefit us SO much!

And one more thing... my ultimate strategy is to get my husband to NOT be so much of a TV-watching, remote-control-wielding couch potato! As soon as I reach 299 and feel more comfortable exercising in the outside world... I am going to challenge him to start biking outdoors with me every night. I know he'll do it... because he has wanted to do that in the past but I always refused because I did not want to ride a bike in public because of my weight.

But... I am SO excited now! I feel like the whole world is suddenly opening up to me! And... it's going to start with this extra 10 minutes each day!

Who's going to join me? :)

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 24

2009-07-29T09:33:00.003-04:00

Woo hoo! I am SO excited! I am FINALLY out of the 350's!!! I am FINALLY closer to 300 pounds than I am to 400 pounds! Yippee!!!

I had a fabulous weigh-in this morning... and I could not be more thrilled! Here's how the numbers stack up:

Last Week: 354.8 lbs.
This Week: 349.8 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 5
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 51.0 lbs.

Yay!!! I have officially lost 51 pounds since Feb. 9th! The first 50 is GONE... and I only have 149 more pounds to go to reach goal! I am 1/4 of the way there! And I feel SO optimistic about continuing this journey and reaching goal! I really feel like there is hope for me... and I feel like I DO have the power to lose all of this weight! And what a great feeling that is!

299 is just around the corner. I know it is! And I will be working my butt off to get rid of this next 50 pounds. Maybe I'll be at 299 by the end of the year. Who knows? It really doesn't matter. All that matters is that I WILL reach 299 within the next few months. And I will be out of the 300's FOREVER!!!

And until then... you know what I'm going to be doing. I'm going to be taking it one day at a time and doing the best that I can each day! :)

xo,
C.C.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

2009-07-25T21:57:00.006-04:00

Who is the fairest one of all??? Definitely not me!

In fact... every time I pass a mirror... I cringe. I absolutely hate looking at the reflection of my body in the mirror! Sometimes I go for days and days not focusing on the reflection from the neck down. I just don't want to face this large mass of pudge every day of my life!

It's bad enough knowing it's there. Do I really need to see it, too? I think not. Because when I see it... I do NOT like what I see! And I inevitably end up feeling depressed and discouraged.

Sure... I've lost almost 50 pounds since February. But to be perfectly honest... I really don't see that big of a difference when I look in the mirror. Don't get me wrong... I do see a small difference... and for that I am thankful. But when you're hoping to see a big difference... it can be somewhat disheartening when you don't.

The other day... contrary to habit... I took a good, long look at myself in the mirror. I twisted and turned, and glared at my reflection from every angle. I felt happy that I've lost weight recently. But I could not deny the fact that I still have a very, very long way to go... not when the evidence was so plainly staring me back in the face.

All I know is... I can't quit now. I can never quit this journey. This is one journey that I have got to finish... no matter how long it takes. And as I stood in front of the mirror... the only thought that kept running through my mind was... "You have GOT to keep going, girl. You have GOT to keep going!"

So... that's what I'm going to do. And one day I am going to stand in front of that mirror and actually LIKE what I see.

And what I am going to see is a reflection of a woman who just did not quit!

Kiss the Cook Friday

2009-07-24T14:32:00.010-04:00

Wow! It's been a long time since I posted a recipe for "Kiss the Cook Friday!" In fact... the last recipe I posted was Hungarian Goulash on June 5th! I had hoped to post a new recipe EVERY Friday... but... well... that's just not going to happen. Sorry! hehe

Today I'm sharing a healthier version of an old favorite. I didn't say this recipe was healthy. I said it was health-i-ER. So if you're avoiding sugar, God bless you... you are my hero... but this recipe is not for you.

The key to my success so far has been moderation, not deprivation. I don't make treats often, but when I do... I enjoy one small serving and count the calories. It's been working so far... and if that approach works for you, too... you will certainly want to try today's recipe.

Are you curious yet? No need to fret! The wait is over. Today I am sharing a recipe for Low-Fat Mini-Cheesecakes! (These are a favorite of my husband... so I really don't have to worry about eating more than one anyway. hehe)

So... without further ado... here is my version of Low-Fat Mini-Cheesecakes:

Low-Fat Mini-Cheesecakes

(This recipe makes 6, but can easily be doubled.)

Ingredients:

1 (8 oz.) Neufchatel Cheese (room temperature)
1/4 cup white sugar
½ t. vanilla
1 egg
1 lemon for the following:
*1 ½ t. lemon juice
*1 t. grated lemon peel

(You can substitute lemon juice from a bottle if you don’t have a fresh lemon, or 1/4 t. lemon extract would work, too. Fat Free Cream Cheese would probably work well, too... but I've never tried that.)

6 Vanilla Wafer cookies for crusts (optional)

You will also need a cupcake pan and 6 cupcake liners. Foil liners are nice, but paper will work, too.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Place Neufchatel Cheese in medium sized mixing bowl and allow it to come to room temperature. Whisk lightly, and then whisk in the sugar, egg, vanilla, lemon juice, and grated lemon peel. Mixture should be smooth and creamy.

Line the cupcake pan with the liners. Place a Vanilla Wafer cookie in the bottom of each liner if desired. Spoon Neufchatel Cheese mixture evenly into your liners. Place cupcake pan on the center rack of the preheated oven, and bake for 25 minutes. Allow to cool in pan for about 15 minutes before removing cheesecakes, and then allow the cheesecakes to cool to room temperature. Place in covered container and chill and store in refrigerator.

Servings per recipe: 6
Serving Size: 1 mini-cheesecake
Calories per mini-cheesecake, no Vanilla Wafer Crust: 138
Calories per mini-cheesecake WITH Vanilla Wafer Crust: 154

(PS: I also like to puree raspberries and drizzle the sauce over my dessert plate before placing the mini-cheesecake on the plate. It looks pretty... and it's yummy, too!)

The Woman of His Dreams

2009-07-23T16:07:00.006-04:00

My husband had a nice little dream the other night. He dreamed that I was skinny. (See... I TOLD you it was a dream! hehe)

And, of course... I asked him what this thin, dreamy me looked like. He got an impish smile on his face and said, "You looked goooooooooooood." And then he proceeded to tell me that in the dream he picked me up and couldn't take his eyes off me.

He also told me that I lost all the weight overnight. Ha! If only it were that easy! hehe

But seriously... I SO want to be the woman in his dream! I SO want to be thin one day! I SO want him to be able to pick me up and not receive a hernia in the process! I SO want him to tell me that I look "gooooooooooooooooood!"

The woman of his dream is the woman of my dreams, too. Almost every day I daydream about what life is going to be like when I'm finally at a "normal" weight. And that dream helps to keep me going day after day. Because I know that this is one dream that can and WILL come true... as long as I continue to persevere.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 23

2009-07-22T14:42:00.009-04:00

Good Lord! When am I going to get out of the 350's???

I'm feeling a bit frustrated today. I don't have a loss to report... and I just feel like screaming.

Here's how the numbers stack up:

Last Week: 352.0 lbs.
This Week: 354.8 lbs.
Pounds Gained: 2.8
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 46.0 lbs.

Yes... I'm thrilled that I've lost 46.0 lbs. since Feb. 2nd... but I've been in the 350's since May 27th! I feel like the summer is slipping away from me... and I've got nothing to show for it. After all... don't people typically lose MORE weight during the summer than they do the rest of the year? What the heck is wrong with me?

I feel like I'm doing everything right... at least 99% of the time. I've been sticking to 1,800 calories a day, and I've been exercising several times a week. I was sure that I would break through the 350's at today's weigh-in.

I did eat some salty restaurant food Monday and Tuesday nights. And I did go over my calories on Monday. So I'm sure that's the reason for my gain... and it's my own fault. But still! I just want to be out of the 350's ASAP! It is NOT fun weighing this freaking much and I am SO tired of being this freaking fat!!!

Just keepin' it real...

xo,
C.C.

Blog Problem Update

2009-07-21T23:26:00.003-04:00

Hi, everyone! I hope you're all having a fabulous week so far!

And... I just want to thank everyone who has commented on my last post about the blog problem I've been experiencing. I got rid of some third-party widgets, so if that has cleared up the problem for all of you... could you please let me know?

Oh... and the problem actually DID occur with Mozilla Firefox... so it wasn't just happening with IE. It happened to me a few times when I was moderating and posting comments... and it annoyed the heck out of me. So... I just want to let all of you know that I am SO sorry that this is happening and that you may have had to deal with it... and I am doing everything possible to solve this problem ASAP!

By the way... my blog looks TERRIBLE when viewed with IE! So... I apologize for that, too! lol

Anyway... thanks again for all your help and input so far! And if the changes I made did the trick and got rid of the annoying pop-up... please let me know.

xo,
C.C.

PS: I'll be posting my weigh-in sometime Wednesday... so keep your fingers crossed for me! :)

Blog Problem

2009-07-19T11:17:00.004-04:00

A few blog buddies have let me know that they've had problems viewing my blog with IE. Has anyone else had this problems recently?

There seems to be no problem when viewing with Mozilla Firefox, which is what I use, so I heartily suggest that if you don't use Mozilla Firefox... you may want to make the switch.

To be more specific... the following is an excerpt from an email I received from a good friend in regard to the problem:

"When I go to your blog today, I get one of two errors:

1. it says Operation aborted. IE cannot open the site.

2. it sends me directly to a site that says "meet a stranger, free" and wants me to click a button. I didn't click it. Its called imeetzu. This is a known blogger issue here: http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=362041739504e5b9&hl=en "

Any suggestions as to how I can fix this??? Thanks in advance!

And... sorry for any inconvenience this has caused any of you!

My Husband Really Turned Me On...

2009-07-16T00:29:00.003-04:00

To spinach, that is! (Get your mind out of the gutter! Yes, I'm talking to YOU! hehe)

Seriously... prior to my marriage a few years ago... the closest I came to eating spinach was watching Popeye cartoons on TV as a child. I thought that spinach was some gloppy green goo that only came in a can. I figured that because it was portrayed as being so good for Popeye... it probably tasted like poo.

Boy was I wrong! Thanks to my hubby... spinach became a staple of our diet early on in our marriage. And I currently eat it almost every day!

I eat it fresh in salads and wraps. I eat it cooked in soups and stews. I eat it sauteed as a side dish with garlic and olive oil. It's a fantastic addition to a yummy omelette. Honestly... I just cannot get enough spinach in my diet! And I can't believe that I lived so many years of my life having never tasted it!

And, as you know... Popeye was right! Spinach really is good for you!

It's "low in Saturated Fat, and very low in Cholesterol. It is also a good source of Niacin and Zinc, and a very good source of Dietary Fiber, Protein, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Vitamin K, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Copper and Manganese."

What are some healthy foods that someone else turned you on to that YOU now can't live without?

Week 22 Weigh-In

2009-07-15T12:26:00.006-04:00

Yay! I'm happy to report another loss this week! Here's how the numbers stack up:

Last Week: 352.8 lbs.
This Week: 352.0 lbs.
Pounds Lost: 0.8
Total Lost Since 02-09-09: 48.8 lbs.

I "only" lost 0.8 lbs. this week... but I'm feeling on top of the world... because I'm not focusing on ONE week's weight loss. I'm standing back and looking at things in perspective. And I know that it's all of these little... and sometimes not-so-little... losses each week that are adding up to major weight loss for me.

So far... in 22 weeks... I've lost 48.8 pounds! And THAT is something to be very happy about! I'm only 1.2 lbs. away from having 50 pounds off! I'm only 2.1 lbs. away from being under 350 pounds! And at that point I'll be closer to 300 pounds than I am to 400 pounds! I'm only 1.2 lbs. away from having lost 25% of my goal of losing 200 pounds! Soon... I'll only have 150 pounds to lose... not 200 pounds to lose!

I feel like I'm on a roll... and I have no intention of stopping. This is IT for me. This is THE time that I am going to lose all of this excess weight once and for all! Nothing is going to stop me now!

And... thank you so much for all of your encouragement! I could NOT be doing this without all of you! You guys are the best!

Have a great week, everyone!

xo,
C.C.

Coming Out of the Closet

2009-07-11T14:28:00.007-04:00

Today I'm cleaning out my closet and saying bye-bye to all of the old, ugly black and navy blue men's t-shirts that have overtaken the biggest part of my wardrobe for the past several years. And... let me tell you... it is a fantastic and freeing feeling!!! Tossing these disgusting t-shirts into the trash bag is the most fun I've had in weeks! hehe

And right here and right now I vow that I will NEVER again buy or fit into a men's 4X t-shirt!!!

From now on... it's going to be pretty, feminine, colorful clothing for me! And I'm happy to say that a few girly blouses that I purchased last summer... but was never able to wear because they were too small... do fit me now! Woo hoo!

You know... I really can't believe how good getting rid of these old t-shirts feels! So let me suggest that if YOU have anything old and ugly in your closet that YOU have been hiding in... let today be the day that you throw it into the trash! Because I think you'll be getting rid of more than the ratty clothing. You'll be getting rid of the negative thoughts that went along WITH the clothing.

At least that seems to be what's happening with me. Today I'm wearing a nice blouse instead of an ugly men's t-shirt. And I totally feel like a new woman. Actually... I feel like a WOMAN. Period.

So... anything need to come out of YOUR closet and go into the trash? Let me know... because I'm nosy like that. hehe