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I'm a chubby chick who recently turned 40... and I'm tired of being fat and miserable! Come along and share my journey to lose 200 pounds and gain a healthier and happier me by simply taking it one day at a time and doing the best that I can each day!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Day 2 - Totally Out of Shape :(

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I am SO out of shape. And I am SO sad and disgusted.

A few weeks ago, I was taking a 1.6 mile walk almost every day. It took me about 33 minutes. And some days, I walked twice for a total of 3.2 miles. I was feeling great, and had a spring in my step. The more I walked, the easier it got and the better I felt. I felt almost like an athlete... or a soon-to-be-athlete. And I weighed a lot less.

These last few weeks of being totally off plan have taken their toll. But I didn't realize to what extent until I took a walk this morning. OMG... I could not believe the difference in how I felt! My endurance has totally gone down the toilet in a mere few weeks! Walking just seemed so much harder, and I was going so much slower, and I turned around half-way because I didn't think I could do the whole 1.6 miles! It took me 24 minutes to do 0.8 of a mile. That is how freaking slow I was going. :(

I feel sad and discouraged. I feel like a big, fat, hopeless cow. It's just sad when a person needs to lose weight before they can even feel good exercising!

Oh well, this isn't the end. This is just the beginning. All I need to do is do the best that I can every day. And the more weight I lose, and the more exercise I get, the easier it will be... and the more I'll be able to do.

This is just a yucky feeling. I feel so freaking OLD. There are senior citizens in better shape than I am. Ugh.

And now a bit of good news... I stayed within my calorie limit yesterday. It's good to have one good day under my belt.


KNH said...

Hi there! Glad to hear you're working hard. Please don't say you're "disgusted." You are NOT a reason for disgust!

It is great that you are working toward your goal. You stayed within your calorie limit, and you are on your way to walking again.

You can do this! In fact, you are doing this!

moosegirl said...

For the past 12 weeks I have really had to push myself to walk the dog, now it’s got into a routine it won’t let up till it’s had at least two walks. Normally I can manage it but some days I have very little motivation to get going, I also know that the more I do it the pounds I drop will make it easier.

I told myself when I moved into my new place 13 weeks ago I would take up swimming again, in the past my excuse has been the swimming pool is too far, now it’s about a 2 minute walk from the new house and I am going to get into it again in the New Year!

Leslie said...

Listen girl - hold your head up high.... that spring will be back in your step in NO time...your body will quickly remember and take you to where you were when you fell off the wagon - you'll be amazed at how quickly you'll get back into shape!!

I think part of the issue may be your negativity... believe that you can walk the whole way, and you WILL. You did great yesterday staying on plan... it's one day at a time, and you've just got to start believing in yourself again.... let's get that chubbychick OOMPH back!! we miss it!

Scale Junkie said...

Persevere my friend!! We can do this!!

honib1 said...

great for staying in your calorie range.. please stop being so hard on yourself.. hey at least you got out and walked and thats great.. focus on what is positve and what is possible.. look only at the now.. not at the past .. not at the future.. U can do this

Carol said...

You stayed within your calorie limits yesterday?!?!?!? That is huge . . . pat yourself on the back for that. As for the walking, you got it all wrong. Instead of beating yourself up for the fitness you've lost, pat yourself on the back for resuming your exercise again!!!! Today was not a bad day, it was actually a very good day but you were too busy beating yourself up to notice it!

As you have learned, once you gain some fitness, you need to stay on top of it because we can lose it just as fast. So rebuild what you lost (it will actually come back faster this time) and then keep adding to it. Eventually you will get there! I ran 10 miles today BUT when I first started 6 years ago, I could only run for 2 minutes straight and that about killed me. It's all about baby steps, then gradually increasing from there. Give yourself credit for what you accomplished. You did great!

Anonymous said...

First of all, GREAT JOB On your perfect day yesterday, and I am SO proud of you for getting out there and walking today. This is as hard as it's going to get...I promise it will only be easier from now on! Keep up the fantastic work, and remember that you are SO worth doing this for....


Savy said...

Ok, I'm going tough cookie on you - so take it with love.

If people quit because something was hard, no one would do anything worthwhile. So what if it was hard today! It won't be as hard tomorrow, or maybe it will be - but will it make it any less worth it?

You got out there today, and you walked. THAT is the point. It was hard? GOOD! Because if it was easy, would you really care? Seriously? What the heck would be the point if it was easy?

Now tomorrow, make it harder. Stop beating up on yourself because it's a total waste of your energy. You're mad at yourself because it wasn't easy? How silly is that? Instead put the anger where it belongs. Go kick that workout's butt.

If there is one thing that every person should know about exercise, it is that you have to want it. I don't mean want it like you do a cupcake or a nice necklace for Christmas. I mean, you have to want that darn workout. Your OWN MIND wants to take it away from you, and it's in partnership with your body.

Excuse my language, but LIKE HELL! Don't let yourself do that. This is yours, it is for you, and NO ONE - not even yourself - is going to take it away from you. Be agressive and get what you want. Don't let your body sidetrack your intentions by saying "here, beat up on my feelings and self value, then you won't walk and you'll feel hopeless and we won't do anything healthy and feel even worse!"

You are your own worst enemy. I am my own. You have to get AGGRESSIVE with YOURSELF. Don't think of it as pushing yourself, think of it as fighting back. This is a tug-o-war between that nasty evil being that likes to hurt you, and who you are MEANT to be. Don't you dare give up and let that little snot who likes to tell you how bad you are win.

Don't even let that other you speak. Get the duct tape, gag the bugger, grit your teeth, growl at it, and kick butt. This is about you for you, and there is nothing else beyond that.

Sonya said...

You have to give credit where credit is due! YOU WENT FOR A WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's awesome!!! So what if you went a little slower, you still got your butt out there and that is one step closer to getting back on track and losing this weight for good.

If you haven't had a chance to read your first entries on your blog, I suggest you do. You were soooo motivating then (not that youa aren't now, I mean no disrespect)that maybe you can feel some of that positivity again and it might help you. It's worth a try.

Kriss said...

Yay for staying in your calorie range, and for getting out and moving!!

Doesn't it just drive you crazy - how quick the muscle tone just fades away?!? I get so down on myself, too. How on earth did I ever let myself get like this?????

Don't beat your self up, sweetie. I went off plan in May "for a couple of weeks", and I'm finally getting back on track. Kinda.

There will be good days, and there will be bad days. And we'll get through them all together.


Shannon said...

Congrats on your calories yeseterday!!!! You can get back to your walking, you just have to push through. I know it can be discouraging and I am sorry you are having to deal with it... but YOU CAN DO IT!!

Heather said...

aww dont feel like that! Think of what you are accomplishing, like staying in your calorie limit. that is wonderful!! you should be proud of that. dont focus on what you cant do or are having trouble doing. focus on what you are doing right, or focus on the fact that now you realize you need to get back in the swing of things and get your endurance up. make that a mini goal, to walk X number of days and see if you have an easier time of it. look ahead, rather than back. I find that is usually a better way to live and of viewing things. easier said than done some times, but I know you can do it.

Mary needs a cooler name... said...

I'm totally out of shape as well. (Also totally bent out of shape. Having a very cranky day.)
Two weeks without working out is very bad for the self-respect. But thanks to you I am going to go for it!

Hanlie said...

I'm proud of you!

Twix said...

You're right! Do the best you can everyday. That's what you are supposed to do! And I know it feels sad to feel weaker than a senior citzen in a nursing home. My endurance is struggling too. It's amazing how slow we get so quickly when we haven't done anything. I am proud of you for getting out and doing that walk! Way to go!
I slept all yesterday, lol.......

Goaledgirl said...

I agree with Sonya, you need to give yourself credit. LoTS OF credit for getting back out there and walking, no matter how far it was and for staying on track with your calories. Strengthen that "resistance" muscle and weaken that "give in" muscle.

Grumpy Chair said...

Sometimes we just have "off" exercising days. I have been able to jog on treadmill off and on and while I was still in better shape, had days where I just couldn't do it. An off day.

amy said...

Keep up the good work, you really have a cheering section out here!!! You can do it! Hooray for having a good day yesterday!

Lady T said...

i understand this feeling...completely!

i haven't excercised REGULARLY in months! sad but so true. not definite schedule has come together (and i posted about that today if you have any suggestions)and it makes me feel quite fat and cowish....


ah well.....trying to get into the groove. but its sooo hard for me to find one nowadays!

one day at a time....thats what they all day, eh?

Dee said...

First, sorry for missing in action lately. I have been a bad blogger lately! But that doesn't mean I don't think of you and my blogging buddies. Well done for going out and walking! So what if you walked slowly, YOU WALKED. That's all that matters.

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